Like sands through an hourglass.....

With this ring...

2010-07-02T16:29:00.002-04:00

I understand that I'm not at an age where every time I turn my head, another person I know gets engaged. I'm immune to feeling bad for both them and myself anymore, partially because I'd bet all my money on a nasty divorce in 10 years or less. And really, who would envy that kind of misery. I'd rather spend 50,000 bucks on a nice house that will never emotionally fail me. Any how, I've noticed a couple of things in the last few months that make me chuckle.At some point, I'm sure these things got me riled up, but I'm starting to think that everything in life is a sick joke so I might as well laugh. I digress.

So generally, after the announcement of someones engagement I get the token email or Facebook alert that so-an-so updated/added a website. Ah yes kids, I'm talking about the wedding websites. Although I'm not completely sure why,when I was still in college and even a year or so out I thought those little websites were cute. Maybe the reason I enjoyed them so long ago was because I was living in DC and all my friends were in Mississippi, and this allowed me to catch up on things that I thought I was missing. In fact, I wasn't missing anything because my friends were calling to tell me themselves. So now I ponder whether the websites are there for those people who maybe don't speak to or see the couple as often. But then I think that if I don't talk to you very often there is probably a reason and I don't want you coming to my wedding anyway. This has led to my opinion that wedding websites are for those girls who have nothing better to do than dream about their wedding, talk about how fabulous it's going to be, see how many people will write in the guestbook. Which leads me to my next point...

I've found that the same girls who make wedding websites are the exact same girls who talk about how they were never the type of girl who dreamt of her wedding day. They never looked at wedding magazines or worried about engagement rings. I'm not sure how to say this nicely, but those girls are fucking liars. They've been dreaming of a huge engagement ring since they could spell Tiffany's. They've been looking at wedding books since college. And let's be serious, the only reason they went to college is to find a husband. And when they graduated without one, they were bitter and cursed every man who ever bought an engagement ring from Jared (which is fair, actually). They became girls who were fiercely independent and didn't need a man to define themselves. I'm pretty sure that's code for, "I'm looking for someone to save me from my own neuroses". I think Meredith Grey said it best when she said "If you cant wait for someone to fly underneath you and save you, then you need to save yourself."

I'm interested to her what other people think. We all know that I'm completely jaded, so maybe I've got it all wrong. Let's hear it.

Get ready for a Rant!

2010-06-10T20:46:00.005-04:00

My brain is filled with too much crap. The more I think about them, the more frustrated I get so I'm going to unload it for all of you. Hope you get a laugh at my expense.

1. I went to the GI doctor the other day and he is testing me for Celiac disease. If I have it, then I will never be able to eat carbs. ever. again.

2. I am constantly wondering why some people make it so hard to be their friend. I have friends that make hanging out so complicated. Don't tell me that you need to go workout, go to whatever function you already promised to be at, or that someone else is "begging" you to hang out with them. Just say "I've got other plans. Maybe next time." Don't give me the freaking run around. And I am making it clear here and now that I will NEVER beg someone to hangout with me.

3. I don't know why I am always surprised when the people who do the least amount of work are the ones who continually receive and take the credit.

4. I am really sick and tired of hearing how busy you are. Whatever. You just aren't using your time wisely. If we spent less time telling about how busy we are and more time actually doing our work, then you wouldn't be so stressed out.

5. I've said it once and I will say it again: They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery but I beg to differ. I think it's because some people are dumb and benefit from those fortunate enough to think for themselves. There-I said it.

6. I hate it..HATE IT..when people tell me I will change my mind about having kids or that I will "understand" when I have kids. At this point in my life, I don't want kids. I work with kids every single day and trust me, I "understand". That's why I don't want them.

7. People who get their feelings hurt easily drive me BONKERS.

8. I need a damn maid to help me organize my house. It stresses me out beyond belief to go through stuff and find a new place for it. It makes me wish I lived in a hotel.

9. I'm going to Chicago for my birthday. Recommendations are currently being accepted as I've only ever been in the darn airport.

10. I've calmed down and forgot a bunch of the things that were making me angry to begin with. I guess that means I should stop talking.

A Wish List, or Stop being an F-ing flake.

2010-05-26T23:34:00.005-04:00

I really really hate boys right now. Wait. I really really hated boys last week. This week I'm just ambivalent and confused as ever about them. Plus, I'm really bored and my Ambien hasn't kicked in yet. Therefore, I will write my man wish list. Enjoy. (And I don't want any judgement on that terrible would-be run on sentence scattered with random punctuation.If you can't say anything nice, come sit by me!)

Dear boys,

1. Don't challenge me to a sext-off, because I will most assuredly win. My wit will gut you like a fish.

2. If you want to make out and stuff, that's cool. But don't do that and then flake for a month. Because I will have most certainly moved on. Probably not, but I want you to think so.

3. You're friends already know about us. But nice try.

4. I'm flattered that you think that everything I write on Facebook is about you, but you clearly have me confused with someone who gives a shit.

5. You're probably not mentally or emotionally damaged enough for me, anyway.

6. Your typical morning bathroom rituals do not need to take place in MY bathroom. Unless of course you put a ring on it, then you can do whatever your little heart desires.

7. If your name is John Mayer, this list does not apply to you. Because you are my dream flake with a guitar.

8. After looking this over, this is most definitely not a wish list but I'm sure I didn't have to tell you that. Maybe I'm a bit bitter. Whatev.

9. If you are a boy who knows me and you think any of these rules are about you, then you are probably correct.

The Twilight Zone...

2010-04-04T13:18:00.002-04:00

I'm not really sure what is happening today, but I think I might kill someone. I think God is playing tricks on me, because I'm otherwise thinking that I've woken up in Hell.

As I write, there are about 17 Mexicans (I'm being serious) doing who knows what in the apartment above me. That would be the apartment that the loud sexaholic just moved out of. I presume they are cleaning it, but for some reason they chose Easter Sunday at 6:30 AM to start cleaning. I've heard banging, screaming, crying children, and terrible Latin pop music for the last 5 hours. I even went driving around Nashville for over an hour and they are still up there. They have some little kid who, I swear, weighs 200 pounds running around between the parking lot and the apartment. The people at the leasing office are going to hear about this tomorrow.

During my little road trip while trying to escape the madness, I ended up driving down Blakemore only to witness around 100 women power walking while hula-hooping. Yep, hula hooping. 100 women. And they all were wearing hot pink feather boas and some even had tu-tus on. Again, I'm hoping this is all just a dream.

I'm also getting ready to go to a family Easter dinner. The following text conversation took place this morning:

Sara: Do I need to bring anything today?
Family: Bring Mexican beer. I'm afraid we might run out of wine.
Sara: How much wine do you have?
Family: 4 bottles
Sara: For how many people?
Family: 3

Please pray for me.

Hold(ing) the Ketchup

2010-03-30T22:21:00.002-04:00

So I love McDonald's fries. OK, I usually like their fries. But I LOVE their ketchup. I don't know what it is, but I've always likes McDonald's "hot ketchup" compared to the "cold ketchup" that sits in my fridge. I've been on a fry kick lately and have noticed that the McDonald's window people are pretty stingy with the ketchup. Stingy, as in I ask for "extra" and they give me two packets. Are they serious? What part of "extra ketchup" didn't they get? I need a good handful. I'm sure those little things don't cost a lot, so what gives?

I think this is God's way of telling me that I'm a fat ass and need to stop eating just french fries for dinner. Thoughts?

New Music Monday

2010-03-29T23:06:00.002-04:00

So I'm going to start something new and start posting all the music I'm obsessed with in a piece I'm calling "New Music Mondays". In all seriousness, I'll probably remember once or twice and forget but I like to think I have great taste in music and people need to know. I encourage you to go somewhere and have a listen to my faves, but I don't really care if you don't like something. If there is something you like, let me know. So here we go...

Current Itunes obsessions

Whiskeytown-Crazy About You
Seals and Croft-Summer Breeze
Safetysuit-Find a Way
Ryan Adams-Avalanche (maybe my fave)
Rihanna-Rude Boy (don't judge)
Electric Feel- MGMT (my forever favorite song)
John Mayer- I don't trust myself (with loving you)
John Mayer- In your atmosphere
John Mayer- Assassin
Ben Taylor- Nothing I Can Do
Ben Taylor- Glory Box
Natasha Bedingfield- The Scientist

There you have it. I'm only a tad bit obsessed with John Mayer right now and could potentially still be next week. He's my musical napalm, what can I say(other than that was the lamest joke ever)?

Current Ramblings

2010-03-23T21:40:00.003-04:00

It seems that there is at least 1 person reading this blog, so I am updating just for them. I don't have anything in particular to write about, so I'll just type whatever pops into my mind.

1. Praise the Lord that warm weather is almost here. Spring/Summer= Me sipping margaritas (or vodka/sprites) with flip flops, sunglasses, and not worried about anything but calling a cab.

2. I think that if you are going to use big words and/or speak another language to try and impress your Facebook friends, you should make sure that you use said words/language in the appropriate content. We all aren't the idiots you think we are.

3. I currently hate most things about boys. I hate boys who string you along for years and years and just when you are over it, they want you back. I also hate boys are aren't more direct in their flirtation skills. Do you like me or do you not? That's all I want to know.

4. I understand that people get in bad moods, but while you are holding a grudge and being a wanker, I'll be sipping margaritas and enjoying my life. Don't try and spread your misery to me.

5. While I care about your thoughts regarding the health care bill, I certainly don't agree with posting your political babbling on Facebook. I have begun to delete "friends" who ramble on and on.

6. I really appreciate when people show gratitude towards the things you do for them. Especially when you said you'd help and then didn't...yeah, I'd appreciate a thank you every now and then.

Ugh, I'm done with this. American Idol is captivating me.

TFLN-Valentine's Edition

2010-02-14T15:34:00.002-05:00

I am obsessed with Texts from Last Night. So much so, that my friend Dee and I post our favorites on each others Facebook wall daily. I decided that in honor of Valentine's Day, I would post some of the best that can't be posted on Facebook. Don't judge me for liking all things inappropriate either. Enjoy.

(740): Ohio
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?

(818): California
I'm like cupid
(1-818):
You're a whore with a bow and arrow

(502): Kentucky
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.

(847): Illinois
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé

(651): Minnesota
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.

(716): New York
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready

(248): Michigan
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks

(803): South Carolina
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car

(806): Texas
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting

(250): British Columbia
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.

(303): Colorado
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension

(973): New Jersey
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day

(985): Louisiana
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write

A new post for a New Year.

2010-01-01T12:48:00.002-05:00

Yeah, so it's been a while. Get over it.

These are the thoughts rolling through my head at this moment in time:

1. I really hate it when ugly people get married. Call me rude, but it depresses me.

2. Speaking of marriage, I always find it so cliche when people get engaged around the holidays. Probably because it never fails that I always know so many people who actually do. This years death toll is 8. Vomit in my mouth.

3. I used to feel bad for the guys around Nashville selling the homeless papers. Yesterday I saw one wearing what looked to be a new North Face jacket. I don't feel bad for those guys anymore. Scam artists.

4. I think I might be the only one sad to see 2009 go. I thought it was a great year. 2010 just represents one year closer to the Apocalypse.

5. I've been off work all week and have been bored out of my mind. I made about 6 trips to Target, almost all of them to get some sort of cleaning supplies. All items are still in their respective bags.

6. I went to the dentist for the first time in a couple of years the other day. Gross, I know. But dentists scare me with their little teeth hooks and spears. Looks like 2010 will be the year of forking over some dough on behalf of my teeth.

7. I am enjoying watching all my neighbors New Years walks of shame this morning. Hilarious.

There you have it. Maybe I'll try to update this a little more often.

There must be a full moon

2009-11-02T20:06:00.003-05:00

I have had the weirdest day ever. Nothing especially spectacular, but just weird. Case in point, the following:

1. Our shuttle bus driver usually greets people with "Good Morning" as we hop on. Today all she said was "Hurry up and sit down."

2. While getting my daily overpriced tea, I saw this pregnant woman walk up. When I looked at her stomach, I noticed it wasn't round, but more of a rounded out triangle. And she had a humongous protruding belly button. Like the size of a fist humongous. Maybe you just had to see it. It was very scary and I am worried for whatever may be growing in her stomach.

3. I sent the following pages/emails to people today: "I have your barium enema book" and "Do you have a spare trach I can borrow". My job never ceases to amaze me. I spent the rest of the afternoon doing the chicken dance with 3 year olds.

4. There was a lady working out at the gym wearing a shower cap. Like the old school kind. And she was white.

5. Harris Teeter does not sell Velveeta. Depressing.

6. I ate corn nuggets for dinner. That's it, just corn nuggets.

I need to take a vacation. Who knows what tomorrow may hold otherwise.

Not a Tim Tebow fan...

2009-10-26T22:27:00.003-04:00

but maybe I'll change my mind. I just ran across these pictures of Tim Tebow in GQ. He annoys the fire out of me, but I can't deny that he's nice to look at. Even more reason for me to hate him.

My bank account was hacked...

2009-10-17T18:01:00.002-04:00

by Michael Kors. I bought these shoes when I was bored this morning.

My bank account is currently on lockdown so I can afford to pay my bills. One day I'll learn...but clearly not today.

Time for an update

2009-09-27T23:27:00.005-04:00

It's been a while since I've posted anything. Surely no one missed me too much. This is what I have been up since I last updated:

-offending more people
-drinking more heavily
-working out obsessively
-dietying obsessively
-failing at diets after 1 day
-watching lots of college football
-getting angry with BCS rankings
-being up to no good

Wow. I've been pretty busy. I've got a busy month or so coming up, with some fun trips planned. I'm sure I'll come back with great stories to tell.

Southern Tailgating

2009-09-06T01:24:00.005-04:00

So apparently I'm offensive. Who knew?

Today was a very bittersweet day for me. It was opening weekend for college football; the greatest time of year. I've been looking forward to this weekend since January. As much as I wish as I was in Starkville ringing my cowbell, I celebrated by attending Vanderbilt's opening game against Western Carolina (insert HUGE yawn here). I have always, always understood that fans and students in the SEC tailgate in a very different way than the majority of college football fans. That's what makes all of us unique. I feel like the only other conference that can understand and appreciate our tailgating rituals is the Big 12, and they don't even come close.

There is something magical about arriving on the Thursday before the football game of your Alma Mater in your RV. It's the smell of whiskey and BBQ in the air before the game. It's frat boys and sorority girls dressed in bow ties and cocktail dresses. It's strategically placing your tailgating tent right in the center of it all so that you have prime people-watching real estate. It's the hospitality of all the fans who welcome you to have a few bites and a few drinks at their tent. It makes sense to those who've lived it. For those who haven't, we welcome the opportunity to educate and demonstrate. This is the SEC.

I was trying to explain this tonight but instead was told that "you all" were obnoxious. I am taking this to mean deep South tailgaters. I, understanding that this was how many of us were raised, tried to educate. Apparently I offended in the process. Normally I would make amends, but I feel I did nothing wrong in this instance. I honestly believe that tailgating is more than partying. It's in our bones; it's how we were raised. Cowbells aren't loud, annoying noise makers. They are part of a tradition. Fight songs were meant to be sung. Food was meant to be shared. Alcohol was meant to be drunk. I try to have patience for those who don't understand (or for those born above Kentucky). I do, however, have zero tolerance for those that choose to judge and are close-minded when we try to explain our tailgating culture. It's just not right. It's rude.

Dear Lord, please bless their little misinformed hearts. Hail State!

Analytics and Changeling

2009-08-31T12:14:00.002-04:00

I've noticed recently that I've had a lot more traffic to my blog. Thinking it was because of word-of-mouth because I am so freaking awesome (kidding, kind of), I checked my analytics webpage. I was intrigued to find that I have 117 visits from people seeking out the "greatest facebook status ever". I'm sorry if my post, "Greatest Facebook status update ever" was disappointing. I'm hoping that these people were simply in search of amusement rather than something to use for their own status update. As I've said before, imitation IS NOT the most sincerest form of flattery; it's because you can't think for yourself.

On another note, last night I watched Changeling with Angelina Jolie. All I can say is that it was disturbing. It's basically about this woman whose son was kidnapped. The LA police returned a little boy to her that wasn't really her son. The police ignored her when she said her son was still missing. They eventually committed her to this horrifying psychiatric ward until a runaway claimed he and his uncle killed 20-something boys on this farm. The face that this was based on a true story makes it more frightening for me. It wasn't a horror film at all and I actually really enjoyed it, but it was just disturbing. I can't think of any other word for it. I wouldn't watch it again, but I would encourage other people to see it.

Is ambivalence bliss?

2009-08-30T14:08:00.002-04:00

I really am going to get better about updating but sometimes it's so time consuming thinking of something to post. My time could be much better spent laying on the couch eating carbohydrates and watching reruns of The Nanny until I have a bright idea. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy whatever random thing I may post, which leads to me to the following.

I do a lot of ranting on here but nothing has been bothering me more lately than my realization of just how ambivalent,self-serving and hypocritical people are.
I'm pretty sick and tired of it really. I think the reason it's so frustrating for me is because I am none of those things (although to be fair, everyone is hypocritical at some point in their life). What's even more frustrating is that for the longest time I thought that I needed to be a better friend to some of the these people. It has been made painfully clear to me that it's not me, it's them.

To quote another blog, everyone complains about the people in their lives playing games. The best way to avoid them is simply choosing not to play along. People only have as much negative influence over you as you allow. That's why I'm done worrying about those who try to be elusive and worrying about whether everyone is having a good time. You can join me if you want. You can wait to see if you get a better offer. Just don't be surprised when you're no longer wanted because the effort it takes to reach you outweighs anything you give in return.

I also can't believe that I wrote about 10 sentences and it got me so pissed. I really need a therapist. And a margarita.

Liquid Oxygen

2009-08-17T18:58:00.003-04:00

I have a pounding headache from doing too much work, worrying about boys, and being so darn fat. This is my coping mechanism. Don't judge me.

Greatest Facebook status ever

2009-08-01T23:34:00.003-04:00

Can I tell you how much I love it when people play out their love lives on Facebook? Case in point, the following status updates. Please note that these all came from the same person.

Friday 9:20 PM: (Blank) is devastated!!!! PLEASE pray for me!!!

Friday 9:35 PM: (Blank) is now single l can't get her facebook relationship status to change. she is absolutely devestated. PLEASE pray for her!!!

Saturday 11:30 AM: (Blank) is now single and a basket case as she is completely devastated and lost. She doesn't know where to start since she's still in shock. PLEASE pray for her, because prayers and God are the only things that are going to get her through this. No matter what though, he is an AMAZING man, and nothing could ever change that! Send him support too.

I'm not a cold hearted bitch (well, just a little) but do all 720 of your friends need to know this?

I know there is a God...

2009-07-24T18:19:00.003-04:00

because he created this for people like me:

Kiehl's should be paying my ass to promote the entire Blue Herbal line because a) I own every item, b)I've gotten about 6 people hooked on it too, and c) it actually works and I am living proof. I am blessed in that I don't get zits very often, but when I do they are horrendous. My chin looks like a pepperoni pizza. I use the moisturizer everyday and it really does help prevent other pimples from forming. You don't need to use very much of any of the products so they also last a long time.

I know when people find a skin-care plan that works for them they tend to stick to it, but I am telling you that this is THE BEST out there. Thank the good Lord that the Mall at Green Hills has their very own Kiehl's store, otherwise I'd be looking like Pizza the Hutt from Spaceballs(ha! remember him?)

Allow me to finish my last post

2009-07-13T21:06:00.003-04:00

I was watching Kendra and got bored with the last portion, so I feel somewhat obligated to finish all the things I had going on in my mind at the time(plus a couple extra). So, without further ado:

1. Dear organic shoppers: Trader Joe's and Whole Foods shopping bags are not substitutes for purses. We all know how chic and cool you are because you shop there, but a freezer bag is not a fashion statement. I'd rather wear a fanny pack.

2. Jillian on The Bachelorette is making great TV. She kept that scum ball Wes around a little too long, turned down the fantasy sweet with all the guys on the first trip, and is now steaming up the small screen with her hot tub moves. I would like to be her.

3. Cottage Cheese legs + size small Nike shorts + yoga= vomit in my mouth

4. Apples to Apples is my favorite game. It's even better when alcohol is involved.

5. "I want to connect with you" might possibly be the worst pickup line I've ever heard.

6. The little Indian man making my sandwich at Subway told me I was beautiful the other day. I have sunk to an all time low. No more spicy Italian for me.

7. I got to go to Alabama recently to see one of my best friends and her new baby. I love them both!

8. To whom it may concern: the reason your hair is thin and brittle is because you subsist on Diet Coke and crackers alone. You also can not say you "pigged out" if you immediately regurgitated your meal. Just saying...

9. I've decided my apartment complex is one part Melrose Place, one part The Hills. The drama that unfolds in the parking lot is amazing. MTV should be paying me to live here.

10. Slutting around will get you killed. Just ask Steve McNair.

More Rules to the Kingdom, or I don't have a better title for this post

2009-06-28T21:49:00.003-04:00

Current ramblings in my head at this moment:

1. Daisy of Love is good TV. I don't care how trashy it may be, it's good. Please, Daisy, pick 12 Pack. RIP Big Rig.

2. Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson all dying in the same week=Apocalypse?

3. To add insult to injury:"Billy Mays, the burly, bearded television pitchman whose boisterous hawking of products such as Orange Glo and OxiClean made him a pop-culture icon, has died. He was 50." I'm sorry, but when did shlepping cleaning products make someone a pop-culture icon? What the hell is this world coming to?

4.The Indian man making my sandwich at Subway today told me I was beautiful. I have sunk to an all time low.

5. Fat jokes aren't funny when alcohol is involved. Be prepared for the aftermath.

6. To most twenty-something girls in Nashville: Please eat. Anything. A hamburger, some celery, whatever. Just eat something. I don't want to see your ribs through your BB Dakota dress.

7. I am currently watching another great TV show, Kendra, and have no become bored with this post. Maybe I'll finish it later.

A Day in the Life of a Nashvillian

2009-06-14T15:39:00.002-04:00

This weekend, 50,000 or so people bombarded Nashville for Fan Fare (or CMA Fest or whatever people are calling it these days). All I have to say is that God has a sense of humor. If you want to feel better about yourself, just head to downtown Nashville and take a look around. You will, by far, be the classiest person around.

Channeling Russell Brand

2009-06-08T20:29:00.002-04:00

This morning I woke up and my hair was, no joke, channeling Russell Brand. Even after I washed, dried, and straight ironed it was only a toddler version of Russ's mop.

Then my jaw was swollen so now I think I have cancer.

And now there is nothing on TV except for The Notebook and The Bachelorette. Could someone please slit my wrists?

Hottie Alert

2009-06-02T22:33:00.002-04:00

Last night my dad went to the emergency room at Vanderbilt and guess who was one of the doctors? Yes, that would be Travis Stork from the Bachelor. I didn't realize it was him until I rudely asked someone to point me in the right direction and he looked up. I felt like the biggest d-bag. He is hotter in person than on TV. Wowza! I'm trying to diagnose myself with something so I can go back and let him touch me. I'm going to be on alert at work from now on so I can be prepared if I see him again. I know exactly what I'm going to say: "Have you found true love yet? Oh, no? I'm sure you'll feel better after making out with me."

A bit too strong?

You know you might be an alcoholic...

2009-05-29T10:43:00.003-04:00

when the following words are spoken at a staff meeting:

Me: I smell wine.
EM: Maybe it's your pores.

Maybe I should lay off the vino and stick to vodka. And speaking of, if I mix Firefly with water, can I count that towards the 8 glasses of water I need each day?

I love my life!

2009-05-27T00:04:00.003-04:00

I haven't posted in a while. Sorry, but I have a life. And a fabulous one at that. May has been a great month. I returned Sunday from my first trip to Boston. I was attending and presenting at a work conference...and partying with my girls from DC. I had so much fun Thursday-Sunday that I still can not believe I have such a fabulous life. Now I just need to not be such a fat ass and find a hot man. In the meantime, I will continue cirrhosing my liver.

Chafe much?

2009-05-04T09:57:00.002-04:00

Could someone please tell me the appeal in wearing a skirt while running? I am seeing these things all over the place. I just don't understand why you would wear a skirt while your thighs are thundering down the street. One website said these skirts caused less chafing than shorts but I'm not convinced. Maybe they were made for people with sticks for legs since their thighs don't rub together like us fat people. Although I am sure that there is some logical reason for women to wear these things, I'm still considering this a DON'T. Your thighs and crotch will thank me later.

Adventures in drunk Jenga and other such nonsense

2009-05-03T17:28:00.003-04:00

I swear I am going to get better about blogging more. Maybe if my life was more exciting, I would have more things to blog about. Maybe I should make that a (late) New Year's Resolution: Be more interesting. That, and drink more champagne. I like to feel classy.

And speaking of champagne, may I please say that there is nothing better in the world than waking up at 5AM, finding a comfortable street corner to cheer on 30,000 idiots, and drinking 6 bottles of champagne. Such is my life. Last Saturday, I rose at 5 am to get ready to cheer some friends on in the Country Music Marathon. While my friends are not idiots, torturing your body by running 13 or 26 miles is idiotic. I'll discuss later. Anyway, I arrived at the party palace, also known as JC's, and then we dropped off the running group. It was only 6:30 AM. So the next logical thing to do was find a nice street corner to see all the runners and pop open a bottle of bubbly and make mimosa's. By the time the first runners came by around
7:30ish, the 3 of us had finished 2 bottles. A few hours later, at the end of the race, we had finished 3 1/2 more bottles. It was fabulous.

What's not fabu is the number of poor people at the marathon finish line who could barely walk, had ice on every orifice of their bodies, or were laid out on
the grass looking like they were about to go see Jesus. Why would you torture yourself like that when you could have just hung out with the cool people and annihilated your liver instead of your entire body?

Almost as fun as getting wasted at 7am is playing board games at a bar. That's what we did last night. Looking for a low-key evening, we headed to Melrose. We happened to see some girl killing this guy at Jenga, so we inquired as to what other nonsense was available. Our options were Battleship, Operation, and Jenga. Needless to say, our evening was fun. I vote for Apples to Apples at the bar for a real good time.

I'm sure it seems like I might be an alcoholic, and you might be right, but the truth is just that I have nothing else better to post. Maybe next time..

100th Post

2009-04-22T09:55:00.002-04:00

I haven't been much of a blogger lately; sorry to disappoint. I thought I was going to find something really great to post for my 100th post, but alas, my life is not that interesting. I was hoping I could do some sort of giveaway, like I see on other blogs, but the logistics just wouldn't be right. First, I'm not as blog-sophisticated as those people. I don't think enough people read this blog to garner a smidge of interest in whatever knick-knack I might want to give away. Which leads me into my second dilemma: what to give away. I have nothing. Maybe some cute shoes. That's it. I guess you all will have to live with whatever I put down today.

Not a lot has been going on with me recently. March was full of going out and partying, so I've been it taking it a little easier this month. I don't bounce back the way I used to. With that said, however, I am more than pumped to see yet another Dave Matthews concert Saturday. The lineup is pretty sweet, with Robert Earl Keen and Jason Mraz opening up. This will be one of the first times I haven't gone with my regular group of people, but I think it would be for the best...yes, it's those people I've talked about before. After a few post-concert recovery days, I'll report back and let you know how the concert was. I'm expecting greatness, as usual.

Let's see, the only other thing I've been doing lately is saving money and working out like a maniac. For the past 16 days, I have been at the gym 13 days. And I am never there for less than 60 minutes. I'm trying to mix it up a lot, so I've been taking the classes in addition to my regular cardio and weights. Last week I did Pilates at 6AM. It was hard, as I'm not very flexible nor can I lay my legs on the floor behind my head. Given that, I still felt long and tight when I left that class. I just felt taller. My abs hurt for the next 3 days, but I kind of enjoyed it. I liked knowing that my whole stomach was so tight. I'll probably never have a 6-pack, although I don't really aspire to have one anyway. We'll see how this goes and see if I can stick to it. If anyone has some eating tips they would like to share, I'm all ears.

One last thing: I miss my Louie. You know who you are.

You told me so

2009-03-30T21:40:00.003-04:00

I can't believe I'm about to admit this but....

I watched the Twilight movie (Gasp!).

I loved it. I was gripping my face and crawling on the floor by the end of the movie. I am now reading the book. And the Edward Cullen guy is pretty hot, however, I still don't understand why everyone wants their own Edward Cullen. Maybe I haven't read enough of the book to understand, but I don't think there was really anything to exceptional about his love for Bella. Maybe it just seemed sexier because they couldn't have each other because he might suck her blood. Who knows.

I will also not become one of these obsessed people who talks about it all the time. This is my public display of affection for Twlight and it's gonna be it. I will be a closet Twilight whore. Thanks to Carlee for allowing me to jump on the bandwagon.

p.s.- My next post will be my 100th post so it should be a good one, right? What should I blog about? All ideas are welcome.

Sara + soymilk= No Bueno

2009-03-23T13:35:00.003-04:00

Today started like any typical work day: I woke up, showered,got ready for work, and ate my Cheerios, although today I added soy milk. Normally this just makes me late for work. Today I got itchy all over my stomach and neck, then I got red spots, and then my mouth started swelling. I don't think I've ever had an allergic reaction before so I wasn't completely sure what was going on. I went to the urgent care center down the street and I was, indeed, having some kind of allergic reaction. I got a shot and some pill and now I'm home. The spots have mostly cleared up, but I have a huge welt in my mouth. I tried to eat lunch, but I couldn't open my mouth up very much and I could barely chew at all because of Mt. Vesuvius on my jaw.. If there is anything good to come of this, I'm hoping I can lose a couple of pounds since I can barely eat.

To whoever said soy was better: I hope you choke on your soy milk.

Go Bulldogs

2009-03-15T23:21:00.002-04:00

Today was the SEC basketball championship game and MY Mississippi State Bulldogs were playing. Their opponent was my favorite school to hate, Tennessee. Let me preface this by saying that I was content having my boys beat LSU and just being in the championship game. I am, however, one of those people who are out for blood against certain teams and today was no different. We HAD to beat Tennessee. The game was a nail biter down to the last second and I almost had a coronary 3 different times, but we pulled it out and are SEC Champions! My only wish was that I had been at Corner Pub in Nashville ringing my cowbell amongst all the annoying Tennessee fans. But I'm on vacation, so Nashville was no bueno.

Normally when your alma mater wins it's conference championship, it makes for a good day. Unless, of course, you also happen to be a Duke Blue Devil fan. Then your good day becomes great! Yes, my friends, my Dukies are ACC champions once again while Tyler Hansbrough is off crying like a baby. UNC may have the #1 seed, but don't fret, they'll choke somewhere down the line (hopefully to a lower seed like they did with Florida State). My brackets are freshly printed and all ready to be filled out. It's March Madness and it's my favorite time of year!

A Note to the general public

2009-03-02T20:32:00.002-05:00

If you can talk on your cell phone while you are working out and not be out of breath, then you don't need to be working out anyway. You are wasting the time of all the people waiting to get on your machine.

I'm just saying...

Good friends are hard to find...

2009-02-23T23:44:00.003-05:00

Luckily, I have some pretty darn good ones!

I was going to write the blow-by-blow details of my excursion this weekend, although after recounting the story multiple times at work today, I feel like this is going to turn into a really sappy one about friendship. So I'm making it both, which will be long and involved. Get a drink and some popcorn; it's going to be a long night! Ok, I'll stop being dramatic.

This weekend I made a trek to Memphis to visit one of my best friends, Alan (Al Bal), and his wife, Brooke. I like to think the story of our friendship is quite spectacular, but really it's just random and funny. I met Alan and Brooke during my freshman year at Mississippi State. I had a couple of girls visiting from home and we went to another friend's apartment. Alan was the next door neighbor who was pre-gaming on the front porch. In my typical heinous, inappropriate style I walked up on the porch and sat down. Apparently we became best friends right then because he and his roommate, Cliff, let me slum on their couch that night. Because my mother will most likely read this, I will spare details of everything that went down that night only to say that I will hold a special place in my heart for that big olive green couch. Sorry Mom!

After that day, my life was usually spent at Alan and Cliff's apartment. I had some of the best times of my life there and with them. We've been friends ever since.

If you've read this blog long enough, you probably read that I've struggled with some friendships and whether they were worth risking sanity for. It was such a breath of fresh air to spend time with people who you know take you for who and what you are, whatever that may be. In my life I've been called loud, obnoxious, crass, vulgar, rude, over-the-top, in-your-face, and excessive, and other things that are not appropriate for the WWW. I've been almost all those things with Alan (and most of my Mississippi friends, for that matter). Somehow, he and Brooke still seem to enjoy my company. And I've never had a bad time with them...ever! It probably seems silly to get so sentimental over a weekend of rousing debauchery, but it solidified for me that I am who I am and if you don't like it, then maybe you shouldn't be my friend. And that's why when I have weekends like I did, I question why I ever worried about all those other people who caused me so much anxiety. I have the greatest friends in the whole entire world and you would be lucky to spend time with us.

So anyway, I went to Memphis to visit Alan and Brooke. Friday we went to Bluefin, a nice sushi place (although not better than Ichiban) and stuffed our faces. When we arrived, we saw that the Riverdance was across the street at the Orpheum. Alan told us we needed to get a good spot at a bar before the crazies from the Riverdance let out. We ended up at Silly Goose, along with the rest of Western Europe. There were maybe 8 girls in the whole bar, including Brooke and myself, and the rest were men. If I were into really hairy, smelly men who wore rosary necklaces and chains on their pants, I would have been in heaven. Luckily, I don't do sauerkraut, so we moved somewhere else before wrapping up the evening.

I guess the real fun was Saturday. Alan is a planner, and he decided we (myself, Brooke, and Brady) needed to be at his favorite bar no later than 7:00 p.m. We stayed there most of the night, then went to Red Rooster (which I highly DO NOT recommend), and then...Raiford's. I've heard grand tales of this place but had never experienced it for myself. Wow. It looks like a little shack, but the inside...wow. My feet were stuck to the carpet. $10 cover and all they serve are 32oz. beers. There was lots of beer involved and somehow I remember someone smuggling a bottle of vodka in, which we promptly deposited into our livers. For anyone who knows me, you know that I DO NOT dance. Ever. Maybe a foot tap here and there but that's it. Well, at Raiford's, Sara danced. A lot. I even busted out the running man. I must have been some kind of crazy to bust out that move. Then we ended up in some limo circa 1993 to take us home.

I probably could have spared you the nit picky details, but whatever. You probably had to be there to experience it anyway. I had the best time I've had in a really, really long time. I came away with a really bad hangover and a new found appreciation for the world's best group of friends someone could ever have. Alan, if you're reading this, sorry to be all sentimental and know that I will never be like this in person. I'm much too awkward for that.

A Valentine's Post

2009-02-16T01:06:00.003-05:00

As usual, this Valentine's Day was uneventful for me. With the exception of elementary school where you got game from all 20-something of your classmates, my Valentine's are usually the same. I usually do nothing to acknowledge the day and then drown my sorrows in Grey Goose later in the evening. Yesterday was no exception. Since the invention of Facebook, the day after Valentine's Day has become one in which you vomit at the amount of people who are "so so HAPPY" that they became engaged the night before. How cliche and cheesy.

The funniest person I know, Dee D., said it best:
"I think it's tacky to get engaged on Valentine's. It's like a honeymoon in Destin."

Disclaimer: This is in no way intended to make fun of those who were either engaged on V-day or took a honeymoon trip to Destin. Although, it is kind of funny.

2 more things

2009-02-07T00:08:00.003-05:00

1. I really don't get this Edward Cullen obsession. Everyone wants to find their very own Edward Cullen. I have not read the Twilight series, nor do I particularly care too, as I don't get into the vampire business. If Brad Pitt didn't do it for me, this Edward Cullen boy won't either.

2. I love the movie City Slickers. I almost always get teary when Billy Crystal has to lasso Norman in the river. He birthed him, saved his life, then took him home to be his pet forever. Since I saw this movie for the first time, I have asked for a cow just like Norman for Christmas every year. I haven't gotten one yet, although my parents did get me a Norman poster cut out thing from the big signs that used to sit in movie theater lobbies. Pathetic, I know, but I really am obsessed with Norman.

Not all my random thoughts are negative...

2009-02-06T22:54:00.002-05:00

but most of them are. These are more things currently running through my brain.

1. Happy belated birthday Tom!

2. On Wednesday, players from the Nashville Predators hockey team came to the hospital to visit with the kids. Hockey players are hot. I don't care if they don't have teeth. Please keep coming to the hospital. Maybe one day I will be skinny and one of you will ask me on a date!

3. Let me re-iterate this: Juicy Couture is, in fact, not juicy. Stop buying their tacky shirts, purses, and other ridiculous stuff. The same goes for you boys wearing those terrible Ed Hardy shirts. No one thinks they look good...except you. I read an article in the Journal of Consumer Research (I was researching something else, by the way) and it said that people buy luxury items, such as clothing and accessories, when they feel powerless. Now I simply laugh at people when I see their JC bags, Ed Hardy shirts, and Louis Vuitton gear.

4. Cancer really really really sucks. And I deal with it on a daily basis. This has been one of the most stressful weeks in my professional life. The only solace I find is knowing that I am helping these families during some of their darkest hours.

5. If you are going to tag someone in a photo on Facebook, make sure you haven't blocked them from seeing your pictures. It will tell the person that they do not have permission to view your photos. And upon further research, the tagged person will learn that you obviously didn't block them by accident.

6. Given our sad economic state, I'm really glad I know I don't have to worry about losing my job. The health care system, as whacked as it is, is pretty stable. I guess I shouldn't complain about my embarrassing paycheck because at least I have one.

7. I read in a book that in any given jar of peanut butter or canned tomatoes, there are an average of 5 rat pellets and a dozen fly eggs. These are considered trace amounts by the FDA so they are allowed. I will never eat peanut butter again, as I don't do canned foods anyway. I don't know whether I will continue to trust my Newman's Own pasta sauce though.

8. I don't think I know what I want to be when I grow up and it makes me really sad.

9. My niece can now go to the big girl potty. That also makes me sad. She needs to stay a little baby.

10. My stream of consciousness is now over. I may re-name this blog to "stream of consciousness" because apparently this is what I love to do on here.

She could have asked if I was pregnant...

2009-01-29T23:08:00.004-05:00

I might have preferred it, even.

Today, I was visiting with one of my patients and his mother (side note: cancer sucks. No 8 month old baby should have cancer) while they were waiting for something. I made a statement that he had the longest eyelashes, although he didn't have many left. Somehow we started talking about mascara and I told the story of how I used to separate my mascara covered eyelashes with a needle to make them less clumpy. Her reply: "You just showed your age telling that. My sister did that. I suspect you aren't but a few years older than me."

This woman is clearly in her 30's and she thinks I am older than her. I guess I should get some new moisturizer. How depressing.

A few ramblings in my head at the moment

2009-01-26T00:09:00.003-05:00

1. I need to hire a personal assistant whose job will be only to accompany me when I am running the risk of becoming intoxicated. They would then take my phone away from me and not allow me to drunk dial or drunk text, therefore, allowing me to feel no shame when I wake up the morning after a random night of debauchery.

2. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I would beg to differ. I believe it's because people have low self-esteem and have nothing else better in their brains so they have to copy those fortunate enough to think for themselves.

3. Every good therapist has a good therapist. That is why I'm looking for a new shrink.

4. I really wish Kendra on the Girls Next Door would fix her hair more often.

5. I'm turning 27 in 9 months. I'm knocking on the 30's door, yet I feel like I'm knocking on death's door.

6. The people who manage Blythewood Condominiums are upscale slumlords. If you work for them and are reading this, I would really like for someone to come take care of my front door that is allowing so much cold air to come in. And I would like for you to evict the trashy skank that lives above me.

7. I think I might be in love with Guy Fieri.

I think I've gone off the deep end...

2009-01-23T22:33:00.002-05:00

Today I got this cute little brochure in the mail advertising Team Challenge, a half-marathon training program for Crohn's and Colitis Foundation. I usually just throw these things away because I just don't have the money to donate right now. Today, however, I looked through it and was pretty surprised. If you join Team Challenge and begin training and fundraising for half-marathons, they pay for you to go to said half-marathons across the country and run/walk.

And I quote, "Train with Team Challenge and: get an expenses-paid weekend away, including transportation, accommodations, race entry fees, and entertainment when you commit to this fundraising program." The race they are currently signing up for is in Kona, Hawaii.

I mean, really? I understand that I will have to raise unearthly amounts of money, but I don't really see that as a hindrance for me. Hawaii...for free? I wrote a post a while back about 30 things I want to do before I turn 30. I might add walk/jog (because I will NEVER be a runner) a half-marathon to that. I looked up Team In Training for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society too. I don't know if you can join two at a time, but I might look into it.

The training programs are about 4-5 months long. As a beginning walker, in that I can only really walk a couple of miles on the treadmill, I am going to start building up "endurance" so that 4-5 months is an adequate amount of time to train for a half-marathon. Once I can walk about 5-6 miles at a time, then I'll start training with a training group. They don't want some fat cow having an asthma attack on the first day.

I know all these seems crazy for those of you who really know me, so I am saying all this so that you can keep me accountable if I don't do it. And...so I can ask you for money when I start fundraising later!

A-Z

2009-01-22T00:30:00.002-05:00

I found this on another blog and decided to copy it. I love when I get those corny "Getting to know you" emails, so I thought it appropriate to post something similar on my blog. Here ya go:

A - Available or Single?- Aren't these one in the same? I'm not currently available to answer :)
B - Best Friend? I don't believe in best friends. But I have lots of close friends
C - Cake or Pie? It depends. I only eat chess pie, otherwise, my fat ass will have her cake and eat it too
D - Drink of Choice? Grey Goose Lemon Drops, Smirnoff and Orange Juice, Sprite (straight up)
E - Essential Item(s)? Keys, Blackberry, chapstick/gloss, eyelash curler(my new fave)
F - Favorite Color? uh, i like all colors. it depends on what we are looking at
G - Gummi Bears or Worms? neither...gross
H - Hometown? you know
I - Indulgence? vodka, makeup, Aveda products
J - January or February? neither, I hate cold weather
K - Kids? No. I'm not the mothering type. Yet, I work with children everyday
L - Life is incomplete without… family, makeup, good shampoo, sushi
M - Marriage Date? Ha. Funny
N - Number of Siblings? 1 older sister
O - Oranges or Apples? apples. i dont like to peel
P - Phobias/Fears? Semi-trucks and public restrooms, to the point that I hold it during road trips, at work, on vacation. I should probably see someone about it.
Q - Favorite Quote? "If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question."
R - Reasons to Smile? family (is it bad that it's all i could think of?)
S - Season? spring and summer
T - Tag Three I dont know how to tag people. And I dont think enough people read this to do that anyway
U - Unknown Fact About Me: I was Spelling Bee champ in 5th and 8th grade.
V - Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animals? I'm definitely not a vegetarian, but I do limit the food I eat that involve animals that are cute. It's shallow, but I can't eat a lamb, or too many cows or pigs. I do, however, think you can't get enough anything that flies or swims. Basically, I try not to eat mammals
W - Worst habits? biting my nails
X - X-rays or Ultrasounds? who would want either
Y - Your Favorite Foods: my mom's new macaroni recipe, the BBQ turkey panini at work, good meatloaf
Z - Zodiac: Libra

Well, now you know all about my life. I just realized I am the most boring person alive!

I feel like I should post something historical...

2009-01-21T21:31:00.002-05:00

but I don't know what to say.

Barack Obama became the 44th President of the United States yesterday. Now I can say I documented it.

I wasted half my morning at work yesterday watching TV and waiting for him to be sworn in. I must say that I was rather disappointed in the hacking of the Oath of Office by both Chief Justice Roberts and Obama. Oh well, it was kind of funny actually. I was really more interested in what Michelle and the kids were wearing. I don't know if I really like Michelle Obama as a person but I must say she is a fashionista, which gives her cred in my book.

Lots of people are saying that yesterday's events has changed their lives. I wouldn't go that far, but I feel like it has certainly motivated be to become something better than what I am, both at work and in my personal life. I just feel the need to be bigger and better. I'm not sure how I will actually go about doing that, but at least the desire is there. And yesterday's coverage also made me think long and hard about why I ever left DC. I'm almost positive that if I moved back I would hate it, but if the money was right I would move back in a heartbeat.

Anyway, I am now thinking this is a terrible post and I shouldn't have even written anything. I have a project I should be working on anyway.

Not all Men are created equal

2009-01-19T01:01:00.002-05:00

Pardon me for the extremely embarrassing and gut-wrentching post I wrote about hating men a few days ago. I was angry and bitter. I still am, but I need to get a grip. Whatever.

I am writing to partially retract my previous statement regarding my hatred of all men except my father. I left a couple of people out. So this is my public proclamation of my love for Tom Davis and my brother-in-law, Wes.

I love Wes because he puts up with my mildly insane sister so that I don't have to. Um, I mean I love her and all, but sometimes I wonder why my mother didn't just stay a virgin. Anyway, moving on....

Tom Davis is my Nashville dad. He cooks for me. He gives me hockey tickets. I let him meet Jordin Tootoo (kind of, but not really).He introduced me to the best sushi man in Nashville. Tom tells good stories, especially when wine or Jim Beam is involved. Tom also is very handy at hanging pictures, given his Yao Ming-esque height. If I didn't have Tom and Alice, I would have no social life, empty walls, a less full belly (which might be a good thing), and no destination when attempting to powerwalk around my neighborhood.

Now I have included everyone on "The Men Sara actually likes" list. Oh, I love baby Jesus. Now I'm done. Sorry I left you out. I was hyped up on cheap wine and Carly Simon. It will never happen again.

All I wanted was a new planner..

2009-01-17T13:53:00.006-05:00

and this is what I got instead:

I came away with a fabulous face, but nothing to document my life. Why do I do this to myself?

May I please go back to 1st grade?

2009-01-15T22:15:00.002-05:00

It's cold here. Like 0 degrees cold. No precipitation, just cold. Please tell me why the area schools have been cancelled the past two days...for cold weather. I'm puzzled, although this does make me re-think the career choices I have available to me. I will teach. I will get my summers off and get paid for it. I will get snow days. This isn't looking so bad right about now...

If Love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?

2009-01-14T00:08:00.009-05:00

I hate boys. I hate them all. Except for my Daddy. All the others can go to hell.

I really don't like to talk about my personal life to much, but I will keep it simple by saying someone has ripped my heart out about 10 times too many. I'm done now. I'm over it. Would you please give me the last 8 years of my life back, please?

I'm sorry to be so cynical but with everyone around me getting engaged, I just want to barf in my mouth. Just call me Alanis Morrisette.

So, because I am an extreme music freak, I decided to post some of my most favorite lyrics from songs that are befitting of my current situation. I encourage you to put these songs in your musical reserve, as some lying, cowardly, scumbag may ruin your life too. Cheers to a happy single life!

Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses by U2
You're dangerous 'cause you're honest
You're dangerous, you don't know what you want
Well you left my heart empty as a vacant lot
For any spirit to haunt

You're an accident waiting to happen
You're a piece of glass left in a beach
Well, you tell me things I know you're not supposed to
Then you leave me just out of reach

Who's gonna ride your wild horses?
Who's gonna drown in your blue sea?

Precious by Depeche Mode (who, coincidentally, is Loser Boy's favorite band)
Precious and fragile things
Need special handling
My God what have we done to You?

We always tried to share
The tenderest of care
Now look what we have put You through...

Things get damaged
Things get broken
I thought we'd manage
But words left unspoken
Left us so brittle
There was so little left to give

Idiot Wind by Bob Dylan
Idiot wind, blowing every time you move your mouth,
Blowing down the backroads headin' south.
Idiot wind, blowing every time you move your teeth,
You're an idiot, babe.
It's a wonder that you still know how to breathe.

The Ex-Factor by Lauryn Hill
This whole song is appropriate

Stay or Leave by the Dave Matthews Band
Again, another appropriate song choice

I'm appalled...

2009-01-11T18:13:00.003-05:00

by my lack of posting lately. I didn't even write a new post to ring in the New Year. That will change...someday.

I've been sick lately and in 2 weeks I have drunk my weight in OJ. I thought vitamin C was supposed to help your immune system. I thought wrong. I currently have a secondary sinus infection that the doctor at the minute clinic seems to think I picked up from my toothbrush. YUCK! So now I am on 5 more days of antibiotics and have purchased a new toothbrush. I have also created a deep hole in my couch from laying on it almost 24/7 since Thursday afternoon. Dear Lord, please heal me.

On another note, football season is over. I'm usually not too disturbed by this except that this year was a great college football season. I'm not into professional football, so I don't particularly care too much for the playoffs. I do, however, wish that college football will go to a playoff system in the very near future. The BCS is the most ridiculous thing ever created. No matter how much I hate the system, I love college football. I love college basketball, but not as much as football. Goodbye football season. See you in 9 months! Hello Duke Basketball! See you in Detroit in March!

Remember this for the Record Books...

2008-12-29T20:19:00.003-05:00

Tonight I successfully cooked a meal without burning, overcooking, undercooking, catching anything on fire, or ruining a pan. I consider this a major feat in my culinary shenanigans. And the true test: It tasted good! Looks like I'll be cooking George Foreman quesadillas and mexican rice more often.

More Rules to the Kingdom, or 2009 Resolutions for Losers

2008-12-28T16:38:00.005-05:00

I've decided to write another installment of Sara's Rules to the Kingdom, since the last post was ever so popular. Also because there are some tacky people around me, and maybe I'm wishing that some of them would read this and get a hint about life. If I offend you, stop reading. Sorry. It's my blog and I'll say what I want.

Sara's Rules to the Kingdom (or 2009 Resolutions for Losers)

1. I understand that when a woman gets married, she wants to feel like a virgin princess. Let's face it: you are most likely not a virgin anymore, and you are certainly not a princess. So take off that tacky tiara. Barretes, clips, jewelry, etc. are acceptable. Tiaras are not. If you wore a tiara at your wedding, I'm not making fun of you. I just think they aren't kosher. Especially with lace...eww.

2. Track suits were hot in 2004 when Jennifer Lopez wore them. Not so much today. They aren't cute. Especially those Juicy Couture ones with sparkles and "Juicy" written across the butt. Given our current economic state, I'm glad there are those people who are willing to spend the green on such items so that the rest of the general public doesn't completely suffer. May I ask, however, that you please refrain from buying such atrocities as track suits with sparkles. J-Lo thanks you.

3. To all those people who drive slowly in the left lane: You're busted. Read this:
http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/Insurance/InsureYourCar/left-lane-slowpokes-drive-you-crazy.aspx

4. If your sexual escapades rival that of Samantha Jones, don't be angry when people compare you to her. I know a couple of people who talk about their new "boyfriends", who they conveniently met at a bar and then promptly slept with. I compared one said person to Samantha Jones and they got mad. Are you kidding me? You opened the door (and your legs for that matter) so if you don't like what people are saying then keep your mouth shut about your sex life. Just don't come crying to me when you get dumped.

5. Speaking of sexual escapades, I highly suggest that you don't talk to anyone about them unless you are sure they really want to hear about it. And don't talk about what you and your husband do behind closed doors, especially when you are drunk. You'll feel embarrassed, then you'll blame the whole conversation on someone else, and then that person will write a blog about you! Life's a bitch.

6. I can't help but laugh at facebook profiles of girls whose quotes are full of nothing but pitiful blobs like: "Some day someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else" or "One day you're going to wake up and realize how much you truly love her and when that day comes, she'll wake up next to the man that already knew." The reason you are single, girls, is because you are sitting home writing depressing quotes on facebook instead of being out conquering the world. Get a life, and stop writing pathetic vomit.

7. There is such thing as too blonde. Your stylist just doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

8. If you are a bridesmaid in a wedding, please remember that the day is not about you. You should arrive on time, not expect the bride to provide you with food, not complain about when you can leave to get food, not complain about how you wish you were the first one to get married, nor should you invite dates who you are afraid will arrive drunk, or talk about what your sister/cousin/other friends did at their wedding. When you get married, then you can do all of those things. But not today.

9. I've discussed this before, but I want to say it again. Items of quality and stature don't have logos and emblems emblazoned all over them. If something is as good as it's creator thinks it is, it doesn't need it's name plastered everywhere. This goes for purses, shoes, clothes, sunglasses, scarves, and any other items that someone wears on their body. It's one thing if it's subtle, but I refuse to buy into the Louis Vuitton hype. That, and I think it's ugly.

10. Taylor Swift makes me vomit. Her music is decent, but she makes me vomit.

That's all I can think of right now. Hope you enjoy it. If I offended you, I'm not sorry. We all just have a difference in opinion.

All In A Day's Work

2008-12-23T21:33:00.004-05:00

Today I met Billy Ray and Miley Cyrus.

I was NOT impressed at all. Her presence caused a national security threat. Vomit.

In other work news, I had a very dear patient tell me today that she wanted Santa to bring her Barbies, Barbie clothes, a Barbie house, and Hannah Montana stuff. I can scratch that Hannah Montana business off my list, since I was able to sneak my patient down to met her.
After I accomplished that great feat, I went searching for Barbies. All I could find were some Barbie MyScene that had been donated earlier in the day. What message is Mattel trying to send? These dolls had skirts so short you could see their panties. And yes I checked to make sure that they were, in fact, wearing panties. With midriffs which, by my fashion calculations, stopped being fashionable in 1994. And they had patent leather hooker boots on. I can not give this thing to a 6-year old! She'll have to settle for an American Girl doll.

I was so distraught by these Barbies that I called the customer service hotline at Mattel. I left a message; I'll expect a prompt return call. When I played with Barbies, they were woman role models. I had cowgirl Barbie, teacher Barbie, flight attendant Barbie, doctor Barbie. Even Barbie and the Rockers weren't as trampy as these things. I encourage you all to boycot Barbie until they can give women the respect we give ourselves. Unless, of course, you are a prostitue. Then I have 5 Barbie MyScene dolls sitting in my office for you.

Love is Patient...

2008-12-22T23:05:00.001-05:00

I am NOT!

That's all I have to say about this right now.

That, and Spencer Pratt needs to shave his scary flesh-tone beard. Yuck!

A Letter to Skinny People wishing to lose weight

2008-12-10T21:06:00.002-05:00

Dear Skinny People (and when I say skinny, I mean anyone smaller than me. This qualifies everyone),

I understand that we all want to keep our bodies in tip top shape and that you may want to lose a few pounds here and there. I admire your determination to be healthy. However, could you please refrain from talking about how "fat" you are while you are around those of us not as fortunate as you. If you think you are fat, I would love to know what you think I am. When you walk a day in my XX-L pants, then you can talk to me about being fat. Until that day, I suggest you go on the foot-in-mouth diet.

Sincerely,
Me

My Dad

2008-12-09T19:37:00.001-05:00

Please keep my Dad in your prayers over the next few days. He's back in the hospital after having more complications from the antibiotics he's taking after his knee surgery. He has to do dialysis tonight and then we'll find out more tomorrow.

Say a prayer for us!

OMFGG!

2008-12-08T22:25:00.002-05:00

I know you watched Gossip Girl tonight. Is it embarrasing that I want to live their lives? I'll go back to high school, but only if Chuck Bass will be there. I am completely addicted to this show. Seriously, it's my crack. Please do not disturb me on Monday evenings between 7-8 p.m. unless you're dying. And even then I might not answer.

Also exciting today: I was out for a power walk(after dark, mind you) when I saw 3 coyotes trotting across the street. I shreiked, one coyote growled, and my power walk turned into a power run back to my apt. Mama always said not to go out alone after dark...

XOXO Sara Girl (how completely cheesy)

Yuck!

2008-12-07T20:51:00.002-05:00

Nick and Starr just won the Amazing Race. Gross. I hate them. She is a whiny crybaby and he is one of the most annoying homosexuals to ever be on national TV.

Starr just said, "we were always positive on this race." I'm positive that you had about 14 panic attacks. Try again, Starr.

I am boycotting until further notice.

The Dish...

2008-11-24T22:57:00.003-05:00

is my new favorite show.

People have always told me I needed my own TV show (which I never really believed, but whatever) so I've always tried to envision what I wanted my TV show to be like. The Dish is exactly it! Essentially, it's Danielle Fishel (Topanga, from Boy Meets World...remember her?) making fun of celebrities, TV, and life in general. What makes it so funny is her extremely sarcastic tone and facial expressions. During the 30 minute show today, I laughed out loud 4 times. That never happens! The Soup pales in comparison to The Dish. I think Topanga and I are secret sisters, which is why the show is so funny. Because of me. If I can just figure out how to be her co-host, we'd be the new Oprah. Well, maybe just The View.

In other non-blogworthy news, I am currently obsessed with Ryan Adams. Not Bryan. Ryan. I have a copy of his very first album, which was good, but he has come out with some great stuff lately. My current fave would be "Fix It". It's such a good song because the listener can interpret it in so many different ways. At first, I thought it was this ditty love song about someone trying to "fix it." Upon further listening and deeper inflection (and some personal issues which might have altered my feelings toward the meaning), I've decided it's a song being sung to an asshole, male or female, who really messed the shiz-nit up. Therefore Ryan Adams is throwing it back in their face. Kind of like saying, "I'd fix it if I could, but I don't want to because you suck." That's my current interpretation. It's so much better when you see him play it live vs. on the album single. The best live version I can find is from his appearance on David Letterman. (Side Note: I'm obsessed with David Letterman. If you put him and Bill Clinton in a room together with me, I'd be the happiest woman on Earth.) Anyway, check it out. I know you'll love it, so you can thank me later.

Also, for those of you looking for the perfect gift to get me for Christmas...here is my list.

Frye Bonnie Tall Riding Boots, size 10. Here's a picture so you know what to look for:

I'll take brown or black. Happy Holidays!

Mother Nature, Father Time

2008-11-18T17:52:00.003-05:00

I hate Daylight Savings Time. I hate cold weather. I hate my toes freezing. I hate paying for expensive electric bills, so I therefore do not turn on the heat until I absolutely must. I hate that I get too hot with 2 blankets at night, but 1 blanket is not enough. I hate that patios close, rendering hopeless Happy Hours. I hate snow. I hate driving in the snow. I hate the holidays just for the sheer fact that I eat my weight in turkey and dressing.

I love spring. I love blossoming dogwoods. I love watching college baseball in the Left Field Lounge. I love flip flops. I love opening windows and not having to turn on air conditioning. I love that I can sleep with only one blanket. I love Happy Hours on patios. I love margaritas on patios. I love margaritas, period. I love driving with the windows down. I love fresh fruit. I love magnolias. I love being able to lay by the pool until it gets dark, which is almost 9:00. I love smelling a freshly cut lawn.

Spring, please hurry here. I might become a Snowman. I will cry. And I need a margarita, pronto!

Ding, Dong, The Witch is Dead

2008-11-09T18:36:00.002-05:00

To Whom It May Concern (and you know who you are):

I am content in knowing that you feel you did something wrong and are therefore acting awkward. You were wrong, and I'm glad you feel shame. Now you know how it feels. It wasn't awkward for me; it was liberating, knowing I was in control of your emotions. I feel no pity or sorrow for you. My only hope is you knowing that what you give comes back to you. Thanks for burning the bridge. I've learned more from the other side.

*If you are reading this and think it might be about you, you are probably correct.

Top 10 Best (or Worse) Reactions to the Presidential Election

2008-11-05T21:37:00.003-05:00

America got a new President last night. I've always been taught that you shouldn't reveal who you voted for, so, I won't say who I voted for. I will display some of the disturbing responses I have seen regarding the election of Barack Obama. So many things outrage me about this election, but I feel justifying them with a response will only be feeding the evil fire. Therefore, I won't comment on the morons who said terrible things, I'll just let their words speak for themselves.

Disclaimer: I got these off Facebook status updates, so you can go look at them if you want to. Some of these are terrible, but don't blame me.

1. "(Insert name here) is looking into booking a one-way flight to another country."

2. "(Insert name here) is i'm glad i have a good job but would rather not comment on the rest.thanks."

3. "(Insert name here) is saying goodbye to America and life as we know it."

4. "(Insert name here) is going to quit her job because with Obama as President, I can sit on my ass and make a living.

5. "(Insert name here) is praying for America!!"

6. "(Insert name here) is urging everyone to be in serious prayer for our nation."

7. "(Insert name here) is sad...but is thankful no matter who is president that they aren't the one that ultimately controls this country.

8. "(Insert name here) is wondering why I should put myself through college when I can sit on my ass and make a decent salary."

9. "(Insert name here) is I'll keep my freedom, my guns and my money. Obama can keep the change."

And the best worst comment of the event:

10. (Insert name here) heard Hallmark is coming out with an Obama christmas ornament so that everyone can hang a (racial slur) from a tree!!!"

Yes, everyone, I will be praying for America over the next four years. But instead of praying for our President, I'll be praying for you.

30 Things Before I'm 30

2008-11-02T09:32:00.002-05:00

A few months ago I read a book called "The next thing on my list". It was about a woman who made a list of 25 things to do before she turned 25. She ended up dying, so a friend took over her list to complete. I decided that I liked that idea, so on my birthday this year I started making a list of the 30 things I'm going to do before I turn 30.
I feel like making a list of 30 things is daunting, as I can't think of a lot of things I want to do. The list I have so far have some frivolous things just for fun, and if I don't complete those I won't be hard on myself. Those things might also be taken off and replaced by something more meaningful. I've also included some things that I've done in the last few years, since those were things I've always wanted to do.

So here is my list so far:
1. Attend a Duke Basketball game at Cameron Indoor Stadium- completed 11/2004
2. Attend the Olympic Games
3. Get another tattoo that means something-I'll probably get an evil eye
4. Lose 50 pounds
5. Buy a car on my own
6. Use a passport for something other than identification
7. Visit the West Coast- completed 5/2008
8. Be published
9. Go skydiving.
10. Follow the summer tour of my favorite band
11. Date a hockey player :)
12. Go to an NCAA championship event (preferably football or basketball).
13. Get my Master's degree
14. Ride an elephant
15. Cross the international date line
16. Keep my house clean
17. Meet a celebrity- completed 10/2008
18. Go on vacation and leave my cell phone at home
19. Pay my parents back
20. Be on the Amazing Race with my sister

If anyone has any other suggestions, please let me know!

What has TV come to?

2008-10-27T22:51:00.003-04:00

One day last week, I saw two of the most bizarre TV encounters of my life. I now believe that any Joe Shmo can be on TV.

Random TV Moment #1: Wheel of Fortune. Normally a great show. Most people could win lots of money there. Except for the idiots who were actually playing. After player #1asked to buy an "I" and there were none, Player #2 immediatly asked to also buy an "I". Really? Even better, when it was Player #3's turn to buy a vowel, guess what she asked for? Yep, and "I". Even Pat Sajack commented on their inability to listen. Later on during the show, one of the players spun the wheel and asked for a "T". There were none. The very next player spun the wheel and also asked for a "T". This was after one of the girls got all the letters to the puzzle, then said the wrong thing. I think this goes to show that America is full of idiots. Most of those end up on TV.

Random TV Moment #2: Dr. 90210. I think Dr. Rey is gay, but that's beside the point. It showed someone who was having their vagina recontructed to look like a penis to complete their transformation from female to male. I don't really care what someone's sexual preference is, but this was particularly graphic. I think I'm scarred for life.

Let's Go Preds!

2008-10-19T16:26:00.005-04:00

I am becoming quite the hockey fan! Last night, Tom invited me to another Preds game since Austin and Alice are in South Carolina on a college visit. We went to Ichiban again for sushi, and I proudly ate my crunchy shrimp. I also ate Smelt Roe, which I think is Salmon eggs. They looked like little orange marbles and I was afraid I would see an embryo or something, so I only had one bite.

The game was great. We scored two goals in the first period and 2 more in the 2nd. Whenever the Predators score 5 goals, everyone wins a free Frosty. In the 3rd period, everyone starting chanting, "We want Tacos". Apparently, the "Drive for Five" was Tacos last year and I guess nobody wanted the Frosty's last night. Either way, we got our Frosty plus another goal. There were a couple of good fights, except I think people go after TooToo because they know he will fight them. Overall, it was a fun night.

In other news, I have been somewhat busy lately. After work, I basically schedule my life around working out, mainly because I feel like I have to work out at least an hour everyday. It's paying off I guess; I am going to have to buy smaller pants again soon! Anyway, Thursday some co-workers and I participated in Light the Night for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I was actually pretty pumped about it, since it was a 1.75 mile walk from LP Field through downtown and back. I was excited until it rained all day on Thursday. None of us were feeling walking in the rain, but we went anyway. Since SBG had been sick, we decided we would walk to the end of the Pedestrian Bridge and then come back. It wasn't bad after a while and we did walk in support of our patients at the hospital, so I don't feel too guilty.

Friday I was able to go to the Rascal Flatts/Taylor Swift concert benefitting the hospital. Although all the sales from the tickets go to the hospital, I got free tickets (and I won't name my source). I figure that since Vanderbilt doesn't pay me enough to be able to buy tickets, I can take the tickets guilt free. My co-workers Sarah Beth and Jamie Claire were able to go with me. Our seats weren't the best, but it was still fun to be there. I will say on the record that Rascal Flatts sounded much better acoustic when they came to visit the hospital. I don't really enjoy all the bass and extra guitar playing during concerts. During the whole concert, I couldn't help but wonder how much energy was being wasted. The stage took up the entire rink at the Sommet Center, and was very catwalk-ish. There were special effects, about 20 guitar changes per band member, and balloons and confetti poppers everywhere. I wish bands could keep things simple sometimes. It didn't deter my enjoyment that much.

Another great weekend in Nashville. Tomorrow the Predators are coming to the hospital, and on Tuesday the Titans are coming. I can't believe I get to live this life sometimes!

A fun Weekend

2008-10-12T18:14:00.002-04:00

I had an adventurous night last night. My cousin's husband, Tom, invited me to the Nashville Predators game and to eat sushi. I was really excited for both.

The first time and only time I've eaten sushi was in Starkville. I went to the new Japanese restaurant with Morgan and Dee. They convinced me it was going to be good. I didn't commit to sushi for the meal because I didn't want to pay for something I wasn't sure I was going to like. I ordered something else instead but tried one of their pieces of sushi. Gross. I don't know what it was called but they told me it had eel in it, which made me want to vomit more than I already did. So since that time, I have gone along with people who wanted to get sushi and always ordered something different for myself. Tom and my sister both assured me that there was good sushi out there for people like myself. I didn't believe them, but I went anyway.
We went to Ichiban in downtown Nashville. It was cute. We sat at the sushi bar, which made me nervous because I thought I might offend the sushi man if I didn't like what he made us. Tom said crunchy shrimp was really good and we ordered a caterpillar and fisherman's roll. I hate to say they told me so: The crunchy shrimp was good. I didn't try the caterpillar thing because a) it really looked like a caterpillar and b)it had avocado on top. I only put avocado on my hair. The fisherman's roll was decent but it just had too much fish going on at once. But it was pretty good. Tom also ordered me a Sapporo, a Japanese beer. I was reluctant because I thought it might taste like fish too, or sake. But it tasted like Miller Lite. Overall, the sushi experience was a good one.

Hockey was even better. My brother in law has tried to explain hockey to me but I don't ever get it. All I wanted was to see a fight and for the Predators to win. Since it was the season opener, they had lots of cool stuff going on. Once the game started, we scored a goal within about 40 seconds. Then the other team scored a few minutes later. Less than halfway through the first period, a major fight broke out. I really wanted to see a fight, but it made me scared. The other team ganged up on one of the Predator players, then two other guys got in a fight, then two other dudes had each other in a head lock punching each other. I liked it, but it really made me nervous. The second period wasn't as exciting because no one scored any goals, but the Predators scored again in the final period. I didn't realize how into the game I was until I was jumping out of my seat when we scored. It was so much fun, so I am really thankful to Tom for inviting me. I liked it so much, I'm going back again later this month!

I love my life!

2008-10-06T21:05:00.002-04:00

It's amazing how letting go and dumping your baggage can free up so much time in your head! I have had the best few weeks. I've been able to spend time with good friends that matter, both old and new, and have a new appreciation for my job. Although I am severely underpaid, I get to do the coolest stuff in the world. Tomorrow I get to meet one of the future first ladies (I don't think I can say who it is...until you see it on the news), and Wednesday I get to meet Rascal Flatts, Cinderella, Snow White, Dopey, and Mickey and Minnie Mouse. How did I get so lucky to do the work that I do?

A Change is Gonna Come...

2008-09-28T16:16:00.002-04:00

For the last ten years, I have pretty much hated my birthday. Most birthdays involve a series of unfortunate events that would typically leave me unscathed otherwise. There was my 19th birthday, when I found out the guy that I was dating was cheating on me. There was my 21st birthday, where I had to fend off drunken sluts and frat boys trying to break into my apartment and urinate in my ferns. There was my 25th birthday, just last year, where I drank so much that I forgot the content of the evening. People still don't talk to me because of that night. During high school, my parents gave me the same card every year, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt on that one.

As my birthday this year has come and now gone, history has proved itself yet again. Through a series of trivial issues that snowballed out of control, this birthday was everything I knew it would be. As these events unraveled over the past 4 days, I thought I was going to pack this birthday in the closet with all the other dramatic birthdays. Until today. I realized today that this may in fact be my best birthday in a long time. Because I've changed. I'm not the same Sara I used to be. My New Year Resolutions start today. I'm making some substitutions in my life, and something big is going to happen. I don't know what, but it's going to be big and fabulous. And next year on my birthday, I look forward to telling everyone about it.

3-2

2008-09-15T19:46:00.001-04:00

3-2 was the score of the Mississippi State vs. Auburn football game. Yes, football, and yes, 3-2. I have nothing else to say. There are no words.

Why I DON'T love alcohol

2008-09-08T22:06:00.002-04:00

Serious medical problems are not something to joke about. I'm not joking when I say that I spent the last 36 hours in liver failure. Well, that might be exaggerating it a bit, but for a moment I thought I was going to die a miserable death.

We (some friends and I) hosted an engagement party for our dear friend Robin and her fiance Brandon. You know you've given a good party when everyone is doing keg stands at the end of the night. I don't know what really sent me over the egde, either the wine/champagne combo I was drinking all night or the Jager bomb I took at bar later on, but I do know that when I finally went to bed at 8:00 A.M. on Sunday, my body was nearing it breaking point. I don't know when someone is too old to party like that, but I definitely am and I like to think I'm fairly young. I don't plan on imbibing again anytime soon.

Although 99.9% of people would disagree with this statement, I seem to find that when I'm drunk I become more acutely aware of people and my surroundings. Perhaps its sometimes hard to not notice when someone openly calls you a moron for not choosing to talk about politics. Perhaps it when people forget you at the house and then yell at you for drinking and driving. Perhaps it's when I start to think about a previous post regarding people sticking together like fat thighs. Granted, I was very highly intoxicated and could potentially be forgetting any horrible thing I did, but currently my status is this: confused, angry, and recovering. And this time, I don't care who reads this!

Why I love Mississippi State

2008-09-01T21:50:00.004-04:00

One of the qualities that I pride myself on being is loyal. I'm like an old, loving, hound dog when it comes to the people and places that matter the most to me. Mississippi State is one of those places. Although we lost Saturday night, I will not let it deter my love for my Bulldogs. I love everything about Mississippi State, even things I hated when I was in college, I now appreciate. Things like bars closing at midnight, no cold beer served anywhere in Oktibbeha County, the now defunct Malfunction Junction. I love it and miss it all the same. I hope that other alumni have a love as strong as mine.

One of the greatest things I love now that I have been long gone from Starkville is how much other people love Mississippi State. On Saturday morning, I was working out at HealthPlus(which gives a birds eye view to the Vanderbilt football stadium) and when I came out I had a business card tucked under a wiper. It was for some person that works at Vanderbilt and on the corner of the card it read, "Go Bulldogs". This is the 3rd business card I've gotten on my car that has said either "Go Bulldogs" or "I am a fellow Bulldog". I love that. I totally love the fact that someone takes a moment out of their day to show their love for Mississippi State. I hope I get more because it makes my day. I might start a collection.

Give me thumbs up

2008-08-28T19:22:00.003-04:00

Because I think I'm awesome, I applied to be a writer on this website, rafterjumpon. com. It's basically a place where people write crap about whatever, which is essentially what I do here. Only if I get a lot fo thumbs up or something, I could get paid for it. I think that's right. Either way, go to this link:
http://rafterjumpon.com/view_rafters.php5?id=2403
and read the two posts (which I have posted on here before) and then give me thumbs up. Or you can join yourself and try to be awesome like me :)

Belle Meade Living

2008-08-21T22:39:00.002-04:00

I had a busy night tonight. I needed to go to Pottery Barn to pick up a wedding gift, then needed to go to Target to pick up a couple of grocery items with my $10 gift card I recieved by being a human guinea pig. Anyway, I was leaving the Green Hills mall and decided that I would cut through Belle Meade rather than taken traffic-laden Woodmont Blvd. or 440.

As I was driving on Lynnwood (which, by the way, all the streets in Belle Meade are some form of Lynnwood...Terrace, Blvd, Trace, Way, Ave) I couldn't help but notice that many of the stately mansions had gated driveways. What was confusing was the fact the although there was a gate allowing vehicle entrance to the homes, there were no fences surrounding the homes. I thought the whole purpose of the gate was to keep unwanted guests out. Why build marble corner stones with a gate if a robber can just park his car outside the gate and walk to the house? I will have to go back to take pictures because these were very grand gates, which were all closed, and you would have to see it to truly appreciate the hilarity I find in this.

Nashville is, for the most part, a very rich city. I have no idea what the people in Belle Meade do for a living, but I would think that the cost of have a fence installed would be a drop in the bucket for many of them. I also don't understand the concept of filthy rich people driving around antique (ala 1991) Mercedes and BMW'S. Really, just buy a new one. That's a completely different blog. Anyway, if you happen to be in or driving through Belle Meade sometime, I encourage you to look at all the gates without fences. Keep an eye out for the occasional guard dog, usually a collie.

I need to learn to update more often

2008-08-20T21:31:00.003-04:00

So it's been a while since I have updated this blog. I know you are so relieved to see something new. Nothing exciting has been happening lately, other than me starting my work at Vanderbilt, where I only get paid once a month, and my great friend Jessica visiting me from Cincinnati. I have pictures of my new apartment, but I have since lost the camera cord in the move. Once I get my life back together, I will post some pictures. I do have lots of new pictures of Baby Boudreau that I will post soon. She had her first birthday party a few weeks ago and she is as cute as ever.

On a side note, upon my learning that I will only get paid once a month, I realized that I absolutely need to get a part time job/find ways to save mega bucks. If you have any ideas, please post them here. I am desperate.

Whirlwind Week

2008-08-06T14:28:00.002-04:00

It's been a while since I'e posted, mainly because I've been busy moving, concerting, and cleaning. A brief rundown of what's been happening lately:

July 27- Moving Day! My parents came up on Saturday to help with some last minute packing. There wasn't too much since I had packed and boxed almost everything that wasn't a couch or chair. We got some family friends to move me and they arrived promptly at 9:00. They were done moving my stuff around 10:30. They worked quick. Then everyone was ready to go. I wasn't expecting them to move so fast, or for my parents to leave with them. I conned everyone into going to lunch so I could spend more time with my parents. That only lasted for so long and then I was me, an air mattress, and my TV/computer. That's all I had for 5 days.

July 28-July 31- Last Days at work. I work with some great people. My great Child Life and Cardiology buddies had parties for me on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I probably didn't deserve it, but everyone brought in yummy food and we grazed all day. A lot of people got me presents, which I completely didn't deserve. I was so sad when I left on Thursday that I was bawling and cried almost half the way home to my parents.

August 2- DAVE MATTHEWS BAND IN MEMPHIS! There is really nothing else to say. He was awesome. He was beautiful. He was sweaty. And he played two covers in one night. It was fantastic. I will forever be grateful to Hinds for trekking during Willie Nelson to find Rachel and I and sneak us on the field.

August 3-today- Operation clean up apartment. I got to my new apartment Sunday to find that although it had new carpets, the new air conditioner was broken and the cabinets and bathtub were not cleaned. We have since worked that out with the apartment company and I am now just emptying boxes, putting things into place, and praising the Lord that I finally have cable and internet. One thing I noticed is that I have a full on addiction to shoes. Seriously, half of my closet is consumed with shoes.

So I have had a busy couple of weeks, but things will get back to normal on August 11when I start work at Vanderbilt. I will post pictures of my new apartment when I get everything where it settled. I will also post videos of the Dave concert.

Stuff White People Like

2008-07-20T23:30:00.002-04:00

I found this website through another blog and I haven't stopped laughing. I have recently come to the conclusion that America is full of self-righteous idiots (myself included, only not the self-righteous part) and this website basically serves as further evidence that I am correct (as always!). I love that someone has the balls big enough to right something so hilarious, yet so true.

I am going to conduct a little experiment: I am going to take some of the recommendations from this site and actually use them to see what happens. I may just become a more popular white person. Keep reading to find out.....

Bite me Stub Hub

2008-07-20T22:56:00.002-04:00

I am writing my congressman to encourage him to launch a full investigation into the lucrative art of concert ticket price manipulation.

I got my ticket to the Dave Matthews/Willie Nelson concert and saw that I will be sitting with the rejects in the bleacher seats. I'll need binoculars just to see Dave. Although I will probably just sneak onto the field, the fact remains that there is not a single ticket for this concert being sold for under $125. It really shouldn't matter to me because this will be like my 12th Dave show and nothing, NOTHING, will ever come close to the heaven on earth I experienced last September in Atlanta with him and the Allman Brothers.

However, I will continue to steal Dave and other musicians music until they can get a grip on skanks like Stub Hub who gauge the hell out of the price of tickets. I think it's a fair trade.

50 Secrets Humans Should Know

2008-07-14T22:22:00.002-04:00

I recently got a small book from my secret pal at work called "50 Secrets Humans Should Know." It has dogs on every page, so I presume it was "written" by dogs. I thought I would share a few of the secrets with you because I believe some of them are of special importance, at least to me at this point in my life. Enjoy.

1. Look Deeper- See past the outside "stuff" and stare deeply into the part of each soul to the place that really matters! Often, "looking deeper" finds that ever-flowing well of irrepressible, renewable, LOVE! (or hate, depending on who you are looking deep inside of- i had to throw my own little thing in there or it wouldn't be original)

2. Be All Ears- There's a fine art to listening. Don't let it be a lost art

3. When Pugnacious, Be Gracious- At times, life calls for us to be aggressive. We are pugnacious. Being gracious is a thoughtful counterbalance.

4. There Is Power In Intention- There are many times when you must pick a direction, set a path, and stick with it. Trust in your powerful gift of intention. (this is especially important to me as I prepare to move)

5. Treasure Being Unique- There is NOBODY on earth who's exactly like you! Celebrate that one-of-a-kind status.

6. Get to the Heart and Soul- Humans are often like layers of an onion. It doesn't have to be so complicated. Simply get to the heart and soul. Forget the layers. Show those you love just how much you care!

7. Show your True Colors- Your inner compass knows which direction to point. Never be afraid to let you true colors show through.

8. Get to the Point- All to often, we don't really get to the heart of the matter. Say what is important. Bring it out into the open. (my tidbit- don't be afraid to hurt someone's feelings either, especially if they deserve it).

9. Be Loyal- stand up for someone, watch their back, or support them in some way. Loyalty is a way to show people you care deeply.

Tanorexics

2008-07-05T16:29:00.002-04:00

Today while I was working out, I had the most annoying encounter with some girl who had a deeper voice than my dad, a smokers cough worse than Lindsay Lohan, and an ego the size of my abdomen. This should be interesting...

When I work out, although I am reading a magazine and listening to my earphones, I need no outside noise. When people start talking or running so hard the treadmill starts squeaking, I get highly annoyed. So annoyed it makes me sweat more than I already am. Today I had a great workout: 25 minutes spinning and 35 minutes on the elliptical. Around the 28-minute mark on the eliiptical, I hear this loud man laughing and talking next to me. When I looked, it turned out to be some girl who had the deepest voice I have ever heard. After I realized it was in fact a woman, I noticed that not only was she talking very loudly on the phone but she was running on the treadmill at the same time. Not a jog, a run. While I applaud her for being able to do that (not really), I was becoming really annoyed because I could hear this chick over the rap music blaring in my earphones.

When I'm pissed, I make it very clear. I stared at her for a good 2 minutes before she looked at me. My expression must have given her the hint, because she got off the phone. Two minutes later, as I'm getting off the elliptical, the chick stops her treadmill and turns to face me. Then she looked me straight in the eye and took her shirt off to reveal a black sports bra and an 8-pack. Then she started running again. What a stupid bitch. I understand I'm large and in charge, which is why my fat ass is at the gym. I need exercise, not your skanky butt showing off your flat stomach and your tan so deep it makes your lips look white. I wanted her to stop talking so loud, not sacrifice her low-fat granola bar.

I know and see so many people like this that I think it's becoming an epidemic. Tanorexia. I admit I love to have a tan, but I think that most people miss the whole "brozed goddess" look when they look orange. It will suck for them when they have skin cancer later. And if i see homegirl at the gym again and she pulls another stunt like that, I will use my weight to my advantage. I will sit on her until she can't breathe, so she won't be able to talk on the phone again! Yes, fat does come in handy sometimes.

I'm leavin' on a jet plane....

2008-06-30T20:54:00.002-04:00

More like in a moving van.

I am finally moving closer to home. I just accepted a position at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital in Nashville. I will be working with Hematology/Oncology patients again, but I will be both inpatient and outpatient. I never thought I would ever want to be close to home, but I guess when you have lived in 36 different places in the last 3 years like I have, home is a good place. I am a little nervous (about what I'm not sure), but I know that I will love being so much closer to my neice, my grandma, and my parents and Maris and Wes. If anyone knows of anyone needing a roommate, tell them to call me!

Brown Paper Packages Tied Up with String....

2008-06-17T19:13:00.005-04:00

These are a few of my FAVORITE things!

1. Hydrorider
This is one of the aqua fitness classes I take at Silverlake. It's my favorite thing to do by far. It's basically a Spinning bike that's put in the water so you can do Spinning in the pool. I love it for a couple of reasons. First, since you are in the pool, you don't feel like you are working very hard and it's easy on your joints (I sound like an old woman). You don't realize you are dripping sweat until you feel it running down your face. I also love that the pool allows you to get a tull body workout; you legs are pedaling while you are doing bicep curls, tricep kickbacks, and other stuff with your arms. This is a picture from Silverlake.

2. www.finishrich.com
Enough Said!

3. Sigg/Kleen Kanteen

This is one of my favorites for the healthier, eco-friendly Sara. My favorite is the Sigg, but since they are all sold out, Kleen Kanteens are the next best thing. Some reports came out recently talking about plastic water bottles. The materials used to make it can leach harmful chemicals into your water. These water bottles are stainless steel and are virtually unbreakable. You can buy Kleen Kanteens that hold 40oz. Yeah baby! With Sigg, you can design your own colorful bottle. And these bottles are recyclable whenever you are done with it (although in Switzerland, some people are still using their Siggs 10-20 years after they bought it).

4. Shop Suey Boutique
I discovered this webiste when I was flipping through People magazine at the airport during my recent trip to San Diego. I am not one to buy knock-off purses because, let me tell you, you can spot a fake logo a mile away. I also personally think that anything with logos all over it is tacky and truly not as classy as it makes itself belief. Enter Shop Suey. They have a bag that looks just like the Hermes Birkin Bag that I long for. What I like, however, is that although it is technically a style knockoff, it is still a cute bag. They also have really cute jewelry and other accessories.

I didn't post much, but trust me, I have a lot more favorites to share. I might post them later. I hope you guys look into some of these things!

Are Friends Really Like Fat Thighs?

2008-06-15T11:48:00.002-04:00

Will they always stick together?

I was recently a by-stander to a debate over having lifelong friends as bridesmaids in your wedding, although the said friends had grown apart over recent years. The bride’s justification was that the two had been friends “since the womb” and she owed it to her friend. The challenge was whether or not that was a good enough reason to have someone join you on stage during the happiest day of your life. I don’t really know the outcome of the conversation or whether the fair-weather friend will make it to the big day with the bride (or whether the bride will one day be a bridesmaid for fair-weather friend). What I do know is that the conversation got me thinking about the relationships I have with my friends, both old and new, and whether we’ll stand the test of time.

I’ve been blessed to become friends with some of the greatest people on Earth. I can tell you what I love about each of them and why we are still the best of friends, but I can’t distinguish the exact moment we became friends. That’s because with my closest relationships, things have always just, well, worked. If I think about my friends over the past 15 years, I don’t think there was ever a stage where a potential friend and I were “casually dating” to determine whether we were friends or not. If that was the case, I would probably have 3 friends, 2 of which are family members. I think that’s one reason why after so many, or few, years my friends and I are still close. You either know you will be friends or you won’t, and in those cases, you cut the cord and move on. Do we owe it to each other to continue being friends, even if you are two completely different people now?

I must say I don’t know how I feel about this subject. I definitely have friends that I am closer to than others, and I have friends whom I don’t fully understand why we are still friends. Am I afraid to end it? Maybe I do feel like I owe it to them to continue being their friend, simply because we’ve been friends for so long. Would I want them there at my finest hour? Absolutely. Would they come and comfort me during my worst hour? Probably not. Then why haven’t I bitten the bullet and thrown them to the curb yet? How do you, in essence, break up, with friends? Do you wait until they sleep with your boyfriend? Do you wait until they refuse to come pick you up after breaking down on the highway? Not too long ago, a friend of mine asked me to go out with her and some old college friends. I found that the entire night, she was shoving her camera in my face asking me to take pictures of her and the others. If she’s reading this, which I doubt, I hope she realizes how terrible it made me feel. I felt like she was embarrassed by me. Am I still friends with her. Yep. I couldn’t tell you why either.

I also have two friends who I’ve known for a shorter time. When we are together, we usually laugh until we wet our pants. While I was living in Washington, D.C., they came to visit me during Fall Break. None of my oldest friends did that. One night in Georgetown, the three of us had imbibed on WAY too much alcohol. Instead of taking a cab home and sleeping it off, I instead chose to act a fool and start a fight with my visitors. I was horrified the next morning, not because I woke up wearing the vodka I drank the night before, but because I knew I had just lost two great friends. Where are those girls today? They are text messaging me as we speak. We went to the Liberty Bowl in December and had the time of our lives. What makes it even more crazy is the fact that the three of us had not been friends but for a short period before the famed “Colonel Mustard” incident. If anything, I owe them for not having me arrested that night.

What do I make of these situations? I’m not quite sure, but I wonder if my camera-wielding friend would have felt like a third wheel with my friends and I in D.C. Maybe she doesn’t really like me after all, but simply doesn’t know how to dump me. Maybe she would have felt the same as I did. And maybe it’s because we’ve just grown apart. And maybe that’s okay.

So I guess my question is this: Is it okay to simply grow apart and continue being friends with someone just because it‘s easier than breaking up? Or do you cut the cord, and only surround yourself with those people who accept you as you are, where you are, no matter what? I have a feeling that if some of my friends read this, they will automatically think that I don’t want to be friends with them. That was not my intent of this, I was just simply pondering the thought. But if read this and think I don’t want to be your friend anymore, then maybe I shouldn’t be!

Quote of the Week

2008-06-07T15:49:00.001-04:00

Who says Star Jones (no more) Reynolds has nothing good to say:

"If I punched every bitch that called me fat, it would be dead bitches all up and down the highway."

I love it!

Re Re for President

2008-06-03T23:18:00.003-04:00

Unless you've been hiding under a rock (or simply don't care anymore), you've probably heard that Barack Obama had gotten all the delegates to become the Democratic nominee for President. I won't sugarcoat this: I'm pissed. He annoys me to no end. His lack of experience and crazy wife scare me. For the first time in my life, I am seriously considering not voting (and I take voting very seriously). The only thing that might change my mind is if Hillary runs as vice-prez. I think she should become an independent and run, ala Joseph Lieberman. I am annoyed beyond belief at this whole presidential election process. I am sick and tired of hearing about stupid minister's from some cult church,the race-card and sexist issues, and all the other nonsense coming out of this thing. I bet our country looks like a hot mess to all the countries that want to bomb us.

Maybe I should move to France so I can drink lots of wine, smoke lots of Marlboros, and stay out of all kinds of international business. It must be a nice place if Brangelina want to have their babies there.

I'm still here...

2008-05-26T02:55:00.003-04:00

In case you've been missing me, I'm back. I've been in San Diego all week for work and this week I'm home with the parentals for vacation. Yes, I have such a sweet life. I'll think of something worthy enough to post soon. In the meantime, I'll post my pics from my trip to the San Diego Zoo. Don't miss me too much!

Becoming a better me

2008-05-10T17:19:00.002-04:00

For the most part, I like to think I am a well-rounded human being. I'm educated, have traveled (and lived) in a variety of places, am honest, kind, and open-minded. I have some quirky habits, but who doesn't. I've decided that I'm probably not living to the fullest potential for myself, my friends, and my Earth. That's why I have set some new goals for myself for the summer. Some may be a bit shallow, but I've decided that as a whole I will challenge myself to be a better, healthier, and eco-aware person than I am today. My goals are short, but are pretty involved. I hope that someone reading this may start a personal challenge of their own and pay it forward. If so, good luck.

Sara's goals for Summer 2008

1. Start a summer reading program- I've decided that I watch too much TV, sit on the couch too much, and don't used my creative brain power like I should. I've seen all this research on how reading stories can help ward off Alzheimer's because you engage the creativity lobe or something (I'm not sure of the term). So I'm challenging myself to read 15, yes 15, books by the end of August. I started April 28 and I'm already on my 3rd book (I read one book in 2 days). I just got a library card for the first time in my life and I must say that the public library is a pretty cool place. As for what I'm reading, I'm keeping it pretty shallow and reading a bunch of books about 20-something girls who date and marry shmucks, get amnesia, turn out to be witches, and drink like it's going out of style.

2. Become more environmentally conscious- Some may find this ironic since I drive a gas-guzzling SUV. However, with gas currently being at $2.74, I am the first one to admit that it is ridiculous for a single woman to be driving a car as big as mine. When I lived in DC, it was pretty easy for me to not drive everywhere because we had the bus stop and Metro station right beside my building. I took it everywhere. Cincinnati only has a bus system, but I am starting to take it now. I rode downtown to dinner last weekend and to my friend's house last night. It's not much, but I think it's a step in the right direction. I'm also going to Findlay Market in Cincinnati, which has a really good farmer's market, so I can get fresh produce from local farmers rather than getting some pesticide filled ones from the grocery store. They also have a lot of meat vendors whose meat is certified organic. No chemicals (bad for the environment and me), preservatives, or other funky growth hormones.

3. Get a better body- so this may be kind of shallow but in case you didn't know this, I'm not so skinny. I joined a gym in January that has a pool, so I do water aerobics, water kickboxing, Hydrorider (a spin class under water), and deep water trekking during the week, and do the regular machines and work out with my personal trainer on Fridays and the weekends. I should have done this a long time ago, but I read an article the other day that said the life expectancy of women today is much lower than it was a few years ago. I don't like the concept of death, for myself or anyone else, so I am trying to live forever. And if I sit on the couch and watch TV all the time, it will be pretty hard to do that. Since January, I've lost 15 pounds. None of my pants fit anymore, but I have become so cheap that I won't go out and buy a belt.

So my list isn't long, but I'm trying to make myself better one book, one bus ride, one organic chicken, and workout at a time!

The End of an Era!

2008-04-27T16:18:00.002-04:00

Last weekend, my heart broke a teeny tiny bit. My longtime (read: since 7th grade) pretend boyfriend, Eli Manning, married some chick from Ole Miss. I guess the only good thing I can say about her is that she is from Tennessee.

I won't delve too deep into my embarrasing obsession with Eli, but I will say it was a dream come true when I squeezed his butt at the Sigma Nu house at Ole Miss when I was in college. My sister made this video tape of some news clips of him when he was still in high school and I watched them every night. Yes, I was obsessed and I admit it.

I guess it would be very terrible of me to say that I hope things don't work out. So I will only say that if it doesn't work it, I will be ready and willing to become his next bride!

A small sampling of what Cincinnati has to offer

2008-04-17T21:10:00.009-04:00

I love Craigslist. There is no end to the junk you will find on there. This is what I found today: (please read the whole thing or you won't do the post justice)

Who Dey Bengal Tailgating Van - $3000 (cincinnati)
Here's the low down,
The van is a 1992 Chevrolet Astro. The van it self has 230k miles, but the guy I bought it from owned a painting company which he used as a daily driver. He told me this was his 2nd Astro. The first one he wrecked. And at 200K the transmission went out of this one. So He took the motor and transmission from the wrecked Astro and put it into this one. Its my understanding that the miles on the wrecked van was 168k. I can tell you this, it runs like a champ! And fires right up every time.
The tires are in decent shape. Depending on how far you commute to PBS I would say they'll give 2 or 3 more seasons. I think the passanger rear has a slow leak becasue its flat now, but to that point its been sitting since the last home game. The ignition switch is getting close to needing replaced. The reason I say this is becasue you have to turn the key hard to get get it to start. But the part is only $13.99 at autozone. Other than that its pretty much flawless. There is a rust spot on the bottom of the sliding door but before I painted it I sanded that spot down to bare metal so I'm sure it wont get any bigger or spread.
Im selling the van with all the audio equipment, which includes a Pioneer home receiver, that powers
(2) 12" sub woofers,
(2) 10" mid-range woofers,
(2) 8" mid range woofers,
(4) 6.5" 3 way woofers
(2) 5.25" 2 way high-range woofers
(2) 5" high-range woofers and
(2) tweeters.
Also a dorm room style Refrigerator and a 27" Flat Screen TV, with a retractable TV Antenna that (comes out of the roof) powered by a UHF/VHF Amplifier. All of which was purchased brand new for this van, and powered by a Semi-Truck Deep Cycle Battery. Which believe it or not is plenty of juice.
The interior is completely re-done. I completely gutted the van cleaned all the plastics and painted them black. All the fabric was replaced with Bengal stripe fabric. The carpet is Astro Turf, and the head liner is also Bengal stripe fabric. You really have to see it to appreciate it. I removed the rear bumper and made a carrying rack for a gas grill which is also included. However I converted the grill to charcoal. It is firmly secured with ratcheting tie straps. There is also a fold down table that is revealed when you open the rear doors. This isn't shown in the pictures, it was a add on feature mid season.
I was only able to take it down for 5 games this past season. I didn't have it finished for opening game and I had to give up 2 of my tickets because my new position at my job. (Its just to demanding.) Im not getting season tickets this year, because its not worth the price of admission for not knowing how many games I'll be able to enjoy for inside PBS. If it weren't for that I wouldn't be selling it. As you can tell I really didn't even get a chance to enjoy it. It took me 5 months to build and I'm sure over $3000 in parts and components. To only be able to enjoy that for 5 games sucks. But it is what it is.
If you would like me to replace the tires I know a guy who has a good set of 4 used matching tires I could have put on. I could also replace the ignation switch if you want. If so I wont go any lower than $3k. Honestly I dont think its that big of an issue or I would have done it already. Just thought I'd tell you so there's no surprises.
Let me know if your still interested
Thanks

Toilet Training

2008-04-01T17:47:00.002-04:00

If you are a faithful reader to this blog (which I highly doubt), then you might recall a month or so ago when I wrote about my escapade in obtaining a Kentucky driver's licence. I stayed home from work that day because I had spent the night hugging the porcelin goddess. Well, ladies and gentlemen, she's back again.

Previously I chalked my illness up to a stomach bug that was going around, although I distinctly remember (and was reminded) of what I ate that night. In the wee hours of this morning, as I was snuggling with the toilet, I thought back to what I had eaten last night. Then I convieniently thought of what I ate the evening of Incident #1 and had an epiphany: I befriend my Kohler everytime I eat something canned. The first time, I was Chef Boyardee (I'm on a financial diet and it was $.85). Tonight, it was black eyed peas.

If any of you are having the same thoughts as my father did this afternoon, NO, I did not eat the items right out of the can. I cooked them on the stove for at least 10 minutes. When there is contaminated water, we are told to boil water for 5 minutes before cooking or drinking it. All that was written on my can of black-eyed peas was, "bring to a boil. Reduce heat and continue cooking until desired consistency." I thought that keeping it on the stove for at least 10 minutes would kill any bacteria that could be lingering. I guess not.

Needless to say, I am never eating anything canned ever, EVER, again. Seriously. I took out every can from my pantry, put it in a trash bag, dropped it at the dumpster, then headed for the grocery store. I love my toilet, I do. But sleeping on the floor next to it all night is not something I consider enjoyable. I'm sure I'll get food poisoning again at some point, but it will not be caused because of something that sat in a can. I'll save that for cats.

One Shining Moment

2008-03-31T00:12:00.001-04:00

So one more post on Duke basketball. You can not be a true fan of college basketball unless you watch "One Shining Moment" at the end of every Championship game. This is what college basketball is all about! I love this song...I have it on my "Workin' the Bod" list for the gym. I was going to post "One Shining Moment" from 2001, which was the last time the Blue Devils won a championship. Being the OSM connoisseur that I am, I know that the more recent versions are not as classic (RIP Luther Vandross). If this does not give you chills, you are un-American.

March Madness

2008-03-30T23:58:00.001-04:00

What many people may not know about me is how avid a basketball fan I am. Well, only an avid Duke fan. I don't care about any other team. I continue to bask in the glory of the 1992 Final Four when Christian Laettner hit the last second shot from the foul line to beat Kentucky.

Duke had an upsetting run this year. Again, their senior night was corrupted by North Carolina and they didn't really recover. Otherwise, I would be inclined to write my analysis of their road to the Final Four. Rather than being bitter or writing about any of the current Final Four teams (which includes North Carolina), I would much rather share the Duke fan wealth with my readers. This clip is of THE greatest play in college basketball history. Enjoy!

Sara, will you please accept this rose?

2008-03-18T18:17:00.003-04:00

I've loved a lot of men in my life (well, not real love), but I think this guy takes the cake. Did anyone watch the new season of "The Bachelor" last night? Too bad if you didn't, because homeboy is HOT! I'm not exaggerating either. I think this Matthew Grant guy is, quite possibly, the hottest human being I have ever seen on this planet. His picture does not do him justice.

In typical "Bachelor" fashion, most of the "Bachelorettes" are bimbos scattered amongst some decent girls. I'm counting on the fact that none of the Bachelor contestants have ever stayed together so once this guy dumps the current girl, I will hop a flight to London and he will fall in love with me. It's quite simple, you see. A rundown of my current competition consists of a girl who played the flute or oboe (or some other random horn), a woman who thinks she's the Queen of Sheba, and Stacey, the girl whose favorite place in London is the beach and who knows that London is famous for the "upbringing of cars." Stacey also took off her panties and gave them to him as a present. Classy, real classy. I really don't think I have anything to be worrying about. I let everyone know when we set a wedding date!

Random Friday

2008-03-16T14:20:00.002-04:00

Nothing too exciting has been happening in my life lately, thus lack of posting. I got to thinking yesterday about a couple of happenings Friday and thought I would write about them and see what other people had to say regarding these issues.

Scenario #1: I was working out with my personal trainer trying to get buff. I was in the middle of doing side planks when I hear a really loud moan. Not a "I'm lifting 800 pounds and my arms are burning" moan. A "I should be making this noise in the bedroom" moan. I tried to concentrate on keeping my legs on the big rolling ball they were on but as the moans continue in their frequency and their volume, I lose all my inner chi and fall flat on the floor laughing. I look over and I see an older woman, maybe mid-50s, who is in fair shape but had obviously had a terrible boob job. Her hair was bleach blond with black roots...oh, and a face full of makeup. She was bench pressing the bar (yes, that would be a bar with no weight on it) and making these loud sounds each time she would press up. Her trainer kept telling her that it would be the last one but she kept saying, "make me do more, make me do more" in between her groans. I don't know about everyone else, but going to the gym does not turn me on in any way. If doing bench presses give her that much satisfaction, then I am scared to know what dinner and a movie might do.That woman continued her moans my entire hour session, so needless to say I wasn't centered and at peace when I was doing my yoga poses. On a lighter note, my abs got a great workout because I laughed so hard.

Scenario #2: Some friends from work get together every month or so and go out and have a ladies night. This night we were at a bar that had previously proved to be a meat market. Hot meat market. No such luck this time, but the drinks were cheap so we stayed a while. I guess no one told us that it was immature college kid night at the bar because there were children there who were simply embarrassing to watch. We had on our own banquette in the corner that was prime for man hunting. We had previously seen one particular girl a few times because she kept coming by our area and "taking a break". As the night progressed more of her clothes came off, her coiffed hair became a stragly mess, and she was taking more and more "breaks". The final time she came over from making out with some sicko she sat down on the window seat and proceeded to vomit....2 feet from our group. I presume she was drinking white russians all night because it looked like she milked a cow on the floor. We felt bad for her until... she got up, chugged a beer that she was holding, and told the DJ that "someone got sick on the floor and it got my purse dirty." WHAT! What a cheap freak ho. Then she went back out to the dance floor and started making out with sicko again. He must have been really drunk not to notice her vomit breath. Payback sucked because a very nice policeman saw the whole incident and kicked her out. But the damage had been done. Our area was tainted...there were no men coming over by us after that. So we had to pick up and move, to the end of the bar.Oh well, at least we didn't have to pay cover!

Moral of these stories: Don't moan too loud at the gym and don't get so drunk that you can't make it to the bathroom to vomit!

Baby Boo

2008-03-08T21:39:00.009-05:00

Here are some belated pics of my sweet neice, Kaylan. She was 7 months old on March 2and is trying to crawl as we speak. She is known a "Baby Diva" at daycare because she is supposedly the best dressed baby there. I don't know if that's something to be proud of or not. Either way, I think she is the most beautiful creature on Earth!

Can we build it? Yes we can!

2008-03-02T12:26:00.007-05:00

For anyone that is keeping track of the upcoming Presidential primaries, you will probably know that Tuesday is Dooms Day in Ohio. Even though I live just across the river, all my TV and radio stations are Cincinnati stations. Anyone who knows me knows how outspoken I am in my love (maybe, obession) for Bill Clinton. I love him. I think he was an awesome President. I will most likely endorse Hillary as my choice for President because, well, I think she's awesome.

Maybe that' why I am so sick and tired of hearing advertisements for Barack Obama. Every TV commerical break, there is at least 1 Obama commercial. Every radio break, there are at least 2...on every station programmed into my radio. I am so sick and tired of hearing "I am my brothers keeper" and "Yes we can". If Bob the Builder was smart, he would sue Barack Obama for plaigarism. It's enough that I hear "Can we build it? Yes, we can!" all day while working with small children. But to hear a grown man running for President using that catch phrase, I'm over it. And it's a little embarrasing, to be honest.

Since this is my personal blog, I can choose to say what I want and not get in trouble (at least to my knowledge). I feel safe in saying that I don't think America is ready for a black President. Sue me, Jesse Jackson. All this "If you believe in real change in Washington, vote for me" crap is nonsense. Any President other than Geroge W. Bush is real change. It is also a little unsettling that his name is Barack Hussein Obama. Hussein=like Sadam. Obama=rhymes with Osama. I'm not discriminating, I just think it's an odd coincidence. If his name was Abba Alla Talla Balla, it wouldn't be an issue for me. I also hate this his lips are purple. He looks like he has Hypoplastic Left Heart Symdrome, which really makes babies look purple. He is simply purple because he smoked cigarettes for so long that it has affected his circulation. I hate cigarette smoke.

Earlier I said that I would most likely endorse Hillary for President. If Barack Obama gets the Democratic nomination, I will no doubt vote for John McCain.

I'll update again soon

2008-02-13T21:21:00.001-05:00

I know it's been a while...all 3 people that read this are anticipating the next installment of As Sara's World Turns. But I'll promise I'll get back soon. This weekend my mom, my sister, and my niece are coming to visit. I'll post pictures!

My Dream Man

2008-01-13T18:43:00.001-05:00

OK Folks. I have watched way too many re-runs of Sex and the City, seen P.S. I love you while drooling over the dead guy, and almost had too many wrecks dreaming of Dave Matthews. If there was a machine that combines the good parts of people to make the "Dream Man" I would shoot Mr. Big, the dead guy from P.S. I Love You, and Dave Matthews through it to see what pops out. I'd really like to pop Carson Kressley's wit in there, but I'd be afraid it spit out a gay man. If anyone knows of a hot Mr. Big/dead guy who leaves love letters/amazing musician, please send them my way. If there are also people who are handy at mechanical things, I'll go into business with you to make hot men!

GEAUX TIGERS!

2008-01-08T00:16:00.000-05:00

I'm not changing my loyalties, as my blood will always be maroon. But tonight's win has special meaning in that I live right smack in the middle of Buckeye country. All I hear is how the Big Ten is better than the SEC and blah blah blah. Tell me, Buckeye fans, how the #1 defense in the country got 40 points dropped on 'em! I hope that LSU's win, along with all the other wins by SEC teams in bowl games this year (let's just pretend the Gators and Arkansas didn't play) will prove that the SEC is the best conference in college football. I also hope that all those obnoxious Buckeye fans will get drunk and fall into the Gulf of Mexico and never come back here, but that might be pushing it!

Liberty Bowl 2007

2008-01-06T18:20:00.000-05:00

For the first time since I was a senior in high school, Mississippi State went to a bowl game. I wasn't going to miss it. One of my best friends, and future roommate, Sarah Kyle and I stayed with my cousin in Memphis and had the best time. I definitely miss the South and all my Mississippi people. Atlanta is looming, so I am now just counting the days until I will be back living in the South.

I'm a little behind ....

2008-01-02T21:02:00.000-05:00

I'm a little behind in my blogging, so bear with me. I last reported that my bestest, Morgan, was about to become a Mommy. Ella Katherine was born on Friday December 14, 2007 at 3:40 P.M. She was a petite 6 lbs and 13 oz and almost 20 inches long. I must say, Morgan and Tart Face did a good job. She's adorable. I can't wait to meet her in March, when I will be visiting/playing nanny for a few days. I can't wait!

In other blog-worthy news, I was lucky enough to get to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day working at Cincinnati Children's. To anyone in healthcare reading this: please don't let patients be in the hospital on Christmas unless they could die. Seriously, I love nothing more than sitting on my ass and getting paid time and a half for it, but it was the most boring day of my life. One kid came to the playroom, where I was assigned, and he came at 3:45. The playroom closes at 4:00. How depressing. Maybe almost as depressing as the fact that NONE of the Chinese restaurants around here were open! What the hell was I supposed to eat? What about all of our Jewish friends who have nothing to eat on Christmas Day? This, my friends, is the difference between Cincinnati and everywhere else. If I was in DC, I would have pulled up to the Panda Express drive thru and wallowed in Christmas Day Orange Chicken.

Happy Belated Holidays, Folks!

Ella Katherine is on her way!

2007-12-13T19:54:00.000-05:00

As you are reading this, one of my best friends ever, Morgan, is down in Jackson, MS having her first little baby. This picture is of Morgan and me at her wedding last December. I can't wait to meet Ella Katherine in January! I wish I could be with Morgan and Matt now, but my thoughts and prayers are with them...and I hope yours are too. I'll post pics as soon as we get them!

Lessons from Driving School

2007-12-04T19:31:00.000-05:00

No, it's not my mug shot. It's my new Kentucky Driver's License.

Last week, I succombed to the nasty stomach bug going around and stayed home from work because I had a fever. I decided that since my Tennessee driver's licence was expired and I am now a Kentucky resident, I should get a license (plus I don't feel like going to jail anytime soon for driving without a licence). I rode out into the BOONIES to the Kenton County Courthouse to get a new licence. I knew I was in for trouble when the letters on the courthouse read "Kenton Covnty Covrthovse" and the chain gang was putting up signs that read "No Pet Business on the Bushes". I digress.

According to the DMV website, I needed to bring my old license, social security card, and a copy of my birth certificate. I blamed my mother for taking so long to get the birth certificate, until I found out that my coupon from Bath and Body Works was more important than my birth certificate. I'm getting myself as beautiful as I can when the woman says, "Ms. Reynolds, your license is more than one day expired so you need to go down to Erlanger to take your driving tests again."

WHAT? Driver's test...again? I literally almost cried, except there was a hot guy behind me so I didn't want to look like a complete shmuck, so I just stood there with my mouth hanging open. I asked if there was some kind of book I could read to refresh my memory, considering I haven't taken a driver's test in 10 years. I trekked "down to Erlanger" to a run down strip mall where the licence place is. This is where the real fun began! I am preparing to take my test when this blob of a woman State Trooper announced to the entire building that I didn't have a valid driver's licence, yet I drove to come get one. She then told me that if I failed the written test, I would have to have someone come pick me up because "I don't feel like arresting you today." I ignored her verbal banter long enough for to pass the tests. When I came back from the car, she then informed me that "you may have a driver's licence, but with those Tennessee car tags, you will get pulled over by the police." WHATEVER. Being the big mouth I am, I had enough and said "Ma'am, I am new here. I just came to get a licence, not get verbally accosted." I am sure she had no idea what accosted meant, because she left about 5 minutes later. The poor little ladies taking my picture kept apoligizing.

Needless to say, I was pissed when I took this picture. I refused to take my sunglasses off because I had "I've been puking for 2 days" hair and then I had my eyes closed in 3 of the 4 pictures she took. I finally got one with my eyes open, but I look as coked up as Robert Downey Jr.

Moral of the story: Do not let your driver's licence expire and never move to Kentucky!

A Late show of Thanksgiving

2007-11-25T12:41:00.001-05:00

I was going to post last week about all the wonderful things I have to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. As I sit here and write this, reflecting on the past 4 days, I'm glad I waited, so I could include EVERYTHING I love going into this holiday season.

1. My family- there's nothing a good pot of my momma's spaghetti can't cure. This weekend, surrounded by my awesome parents, crazy sister and Canadian brother in law, gregarious granny, and the happiest baby neice, we ate a lot of spaghetti. It definitely cured 11 months worth of homesickness for me

2. My friends- there's nothing like gathering with friends you haven't seen in months and being able tp pick up right where you left off. I have the greatest, oldest friends in the world and I love being able to spend time with them.

3. My Mississippi State Bulldogs- I am so proud that our Bulldogs have finally garnered the respect and recognition they deserve this season. And I have never been more proud to be a Bulldog than on Friday after our big win over class-less Ole Miss. If anyone watched the Alabama-Ole Miss game earlier this season, you were probably just as appalled as I was when Ole Miss fans started throwing trash onto their own field after a bad call. That, my friends, is the difference between people who are used to having everything handed to them and those who work hard to earn what they get. When the tough got going, Coach Croom and his players worked hard and beat Auburn, Kentucky, and Alabama. When the tough got going for Ole Miss, they threw trash and fired their football coach. I, for one, am thankful I didn't go to Ole Miss.

4. My kitty- Anyone who knows about my cat, Piggy, has probably heard the horror stories about the havoc she has wreaked on unsuspecting visitors to my parents home. At this time of Thanksgiving, I am very thankful for the 10 years that I had Piggy as a pet. Piggy went to Kitty Heaven this week, and I only hope there is some fresh blood in heaven for her to attack.

5. I figured I was sappy for a while, so now I'll be selfish. I am NOT thankful I live in Cincinnati. I like my job, but I pretty much hate this place. It's not the South, no one cares about anything but Ohio State and sending all of us sinners to hell. However, I am thankful that in 157 days, I will start packing and heading South to God's country.

Happy Fall Ya'll!

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With this ring...

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The Twilight Zone...

Hold(ing) the Ketchup

New Music Monday

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A new post for a New Year.

There must be a full moon

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My bank account was hacked...

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Liquid Oxygen

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Allow me to finish my last post

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Channeling Russell Brand

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Chafe much?

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100th Post

You told me so

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Go Bulldogs

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Good friends are hard to find...

A Valentine's Post

2 more things

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She could have asked if I was pregnant...

A few ramblings in my head at the moment

I think I've gone off the deep end...

A-Z

I feel like I should post something historical...

Not all Men are created equal

All I wanted was a new planner..

May I please go back to 1st grade?

If Love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?

I'm appalled...

Remember this for the Record Books...

More Rules to the Kingdom, or 2009 Resolutions for Losers

All In A Day's Work

Love is Patient...

A Letter to Skinny People wishing to lose weight

My Dad

OMFGG!

Yuck!

The Dish...

Mother Nature, Father Time

Ding, Dong, The Witch is Dead

Top 10 Best (or Worse) Reactions to the Presidential Election

30 Things Before I'm 30

What has TV come to?

Let's Go Preds!

A fun Weekend

I love my life!

A Change is Gonna Come...

3-2

Why I DON'T love alcohol

Why I love Mississippi State

Give me thumbs up

Belle Meade Living

I need to learn to update more often

Whirlwind Week

Stuff White People Like

Bite me Stub Hub

50 Secrets Humans Should Know

Tanorexics

I'm leavin' on a jet plane....

Brown Paper Packages Tied Up with String....

Are Friends Really Like Fat Thighs?

Hottie Alert